


Pərfect

by roseey



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Author Jeonghan, Bad Parents, M/M, Minor scoups and Yoona, Misunderstanding, Mutual Pining, People can't communicate, Prosecutor Seungcheol, Supportive and best friend Yoona, beach wedding, forgive me if you cringed, inaccurate authors and made up stories, jeongcheol are whipped af for each other, mild homophobia
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-25
Updated: 2019-10-29
Packaged: 2021-01-13 16:28:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 29,232
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21173222
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/roseey/pseuds/roseey
Summary: Being ostracized by his own family for his writing profession becomes the least of Jeonghan's concern when he runs into his former crush who rejected him with a dimpled smile, five summers ago.The hurt and humiliation is fresh.The feelings for the man coexists as well, even though he convinces himself otherwise.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> So, has it been 3 months? Yes.  
I'm kind of alive and going.  
I wrote a vampire jc au and I cringed a lot reading so I decided to not even publish it and this baby was influenced by my sister who went all out on me for no reason. So, thanks sis!  
I hope you enjoy this jc content and tell me how you feel!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Being ostracized by his own family for wanting to become a successful author, Jeonghan suffers loneliness and solitude even though he's now accomplished his life long dream.   
Five years after leaving his family, he returns to his hometown to attend his cousin's wedding.  
What are the chances that he runs into his former crush who rejected him with a dimpled smile, few summers ago?
> 
> Plenty and it is kind of overwhelming, to be honest.

We all live in this world to experience the boundless stretch of happiness,don't we?

Eating food to subdue the hunger is a form of happiness. Falling in love, hearing the first cry of a newly born- don't they all add up to some of the mostly wanted precious moments of our lives? The inflating sense of pride and quenching of deep burn of desires with greatest achievements...

It is a common notion. 

The methods of pursuing it however is very unique for each person.

For everyone, their happiness lies entirely in different places and are approached by different means. It is impossible to assume what one would like to pursue and become.

Jeonghan's parents tried to make a guess and failed immensely. Instead of catching up to their son, they were dwelling in disappointment.

In him. 

They thought he would become a holder of a gold collar job. Jeonghan didn't. 

The boy with beautiful blonde hair, prettiest face and a prettier heart fell in love with inks and papers. Of course, it was only a matter of time before he choose the literary path. 

His favorite one is "To my love" written by Sophie Werds. He was her avid fan but few years later, he began to develop a distaste for the fictional character in that specific book, for the same reasons why he was avoided by his own parents. 

The character "David" from the book is perfect: being a son of a Government official, having a baron’s daughter as wife and a wonderful set of children running around the house adorned with a huge backyard- Sophie went all generous with her fantastic architect of story but made a huge blunder by giving an almost unimaginable perfect life to David. 

Jeonghan however, found interest in writing characters that are realistic and imperfect; just like him. He writes about his character getting slapped in the hallways and crying in the shower, he commits to portraying a detailed description on how his character loses his happiness in other's harsh words. Because explaining one’s ordeal came easily to him.

The imagination becomes plain sailing if it is you who experienced these circumstances in your real life. 

The concept of reality and fiction slipped somewhere in the middle for Jeonghan, as he made a bridge to connect and project his real life through beautifully arranged words in his fictional work.

When he got the title of "Million seller", he wrote his parents a text message which was left on read. 

When his best friend of twelve years began to avoid him just because of his preference to boys, he was left in despair and locked up, giving birth to "The unavoidable" in darkness of his own bedroom. 

The book became a huge hit and earned him millions of bills in his cash. Happiness found him, but at that time, Jeonghan forgot what happiness was. 

On a rainy day, he went to church and knelt down before the man who's arms spread out on a cross, face ever glum with red blood streaked on his face. Usually, Jeonghan goes to church to look around and capture emotions of people who come there. But that day he went out to pray for the first time in his life. 

He asked the god, for once, what was he even living for?

Jeonghan never bothered to reply to his fan mails, but miraculously, he decided to collect them from his door step and to his luck, he found a letter hidden amongst them, written to him by his cousin. 

He didn't have to read the full content as there were only few letters written in bold. 

_ **"Come to my wedding or I'm giving your address to Seungcheol"** _

He feels the surge of humiliation and absolute distress invading his mind at the recall of events. His cousin shouldn't be knowing where he lives at the moment, as he had cut contact with his family a long ago.

Despite that, Jeonghan neatly folded the letter. It contains the address of the wedding location and he loves his cousin a little too much than he thinks. The threat could be a contributing factor too.

There is a reason why his cousin cornered him into coming to her wedding. Jeonghan had grown out of the glamourous effects of the parties and meet ups due to one major incident that happened years ago, before he became a successful author. Back during the days of his first failed publication, his whole family gathered up to meet him and most probably "christen him up" out of his craziness, in the guise of celebrating his parents' 40th wedding anniversary. 

They didn't go easy on him, at all. Jeonghan was pushed to tears, that he grabbed his bag and walked out of the home in the middle of the dinner. The fact that he was told off by his crush didn't help his hurt heart.

He came back few weeks later to give an envelop to his parents. 

"I'm thankful you took care of me. I'm not going to disown you guys. I will leave some money in your account as a proper son of yours. I'm sure you don't need my help or probably have stopped seeing me as one, but trust me when I say I'm way better than you all think."

It still feels bitter to him. 

His old man cursed at him, his mother teared up- not that she's going to miss her son, but the fact that they raised an abomination of a child. His grandmother was the only one who stood up and gave him a hug as he found his way out. 

Of course, the world knocked him out of his breath and literally no hurt was to be felt when the poor woman passed away few weeks later. Jeonghan went there in his black suit and hoped that none of them blamed him for her passing. They didn't but his conscience did. 

When Jeonghan packed up his sheer black shirt, Mingyu- his friend and CEO of the K publication company smirked at him, grabbing the cloth and holding up to his eye level. 

'God, I can see the whole world through this. The whole world will see your body through this as well!' Mingyu made his remark, chuckling in pure excitement, like a child given a handful of candies. Jeonghan supplied him a weird look. 

'You look as excited as the pervert old men I sit through meetings with.' He said, casually combing his sleek hair back. 'I'm going to be needing that to make my family go mad at my dressing sense. They always hid men and warned them saying what kind of a slut I'am, so might as well play out that fantasy before their eyes.' 

Mingyu tuts at those words, lying on the bed like it is his own. 'Whatever. They don't know about me. If they did, they would keep all their husbands and pretty daughters locked up in their rooms.'

Jeonghan chuckled and reached out for his phone. 'Wait, I'm going to share this interesting piece of information with my dear friend, Jeon Wonwoo.' 

Mingyu immediately sat up, colour drained from his face. 'What, no! He thinks I'm an innocent puppy and he likes puppies! This might be the only way to make him think that I'm the perfect choice for him. Please don't ruin it!' 

Jeonghan took one look at the face and dropped the phone. 

'I'm letting it go for now. Promise me that you won't object to me writing a romance novel with you two as my inspiration.' 

Mingyu looked happy. 'I'm not sure how Wonwoo would react to that, but I'm all game. You can also give me a cool name. Like how about Edward Kim?' 

Jeonghan grimaced. 'Your twilight obsession is showing.' 

'I know, Wonwoo hyung could be named "Isabella Dove" if not for the handsome cute man he is. I still think there's a way around.' Mingyu said as he slipped into deep thoughts. 

'Well, you've got whole two months with you to think about that. I have the one I'm writing, ruling over all of my schedules.' 

'I hope it is not a tragedy. I cry always reading your books.' Mingyu pouted. 

'There's no happy ending in real life, Kim Mingyu.' 

The moment he stepped out of his car, his cousin, Im Yoona ran up to him with wide arms stretched out and before he could get a grasp of his surroundings, she hugged the life out of him. 

'Yo! Han! I guess the blackmail had you worked, huh?' Yoona winked and Jeonghan pressed a kiss to her forehead. 

'Well, I cannot deny the beautiful bride, now can I? Where's your husband to be, by the way?' 

Yoona giggled as she linked arms with him. 'He's barely surviving the oldies in the living room. I escaped out saying that I was feeling nauseous.' 

Jeonghan chuckled. 'I'm pretty much sure that two of our family members are already chalking up a story of how you might be actually pregnant and that it is just a shotgun wedding.' 

Yoona laughed out, hitting Jeonghan's chest. 'Just to egg on them, I might feel like playing along with their little mind. I'm going to talk about having children in eight months or so and see them actually losing their wits.' 

'They don't have that, already.' 

The two youngsters shared their amusement by sending finger guns at each other. 

Jeonghan was dreading the meet up with the old members of his family, particularly his parents but he didn't prepare for the face of a man occupying the couch.

He initially thought of staying away, out of the town, until the day of the wedding but Yoona had insisted that she's not going to survive any minute longer all by herself in this goddamn house near the beach. (It was her husband to be Changmin's idea, not her's)

So, he came under the assumption that he's not going to run into his family members, considering it is a huge building and all but to his rotten luck, they all are having a small tea party in the living area with snacks filled on the table, and their chattering and laughing sounds taunts him more than anything. 

That particular man was there as well and he's as attractive and ravishing as his younger self.

He silently enters and waits for no one to give him regards. Jeonghan's prepared to take them all at once if at all they are going to trash talk him now, like they did in the past but he didn't expect the newcomer to call him out on his way. 

'Hey there! I'm going to be the husband of your cousin!' 

Jeonghan can already see why his cousin fell in love with that man. He almost reminds him of Mingyu, except the stature.

'Good for you!' Jeonghan shouts back with a wide smile. 'Take care of her well or else you'll have a successful author coming for your back!' 

Changmin crossed his fingers as a sign of promise and Jeonghan made a gesture of "my eyes on you always"

Jeonghan managed to steer away from the bad omens possessing the house for the evening and he suddenly felt like a huge weight was off his shoulders.

It's just the first out of the seven days he's going to live there. 

Jeonghan was hungry when he woke up. His lazy ass deemed fit to skip the dinner, because he was planning on not to consume anything from the dinner facility downstairs if that meant he'd be driving at least 20Km for a decent food. He didn't have energy to boot up his engine at 8PM so he slept off with an empty stomach. 

That being said, he was in dire need of breakfast. Opening the door to his room, he almost stumbled his way out upon a kid at the entrance. Seeing the cute child materializing out of nowhere, made him wonder if he's hallucinating due to starvation. 

Only consumption of alcohol and drugs can induce such symptom, is hunger also a way to this madness?

He carefully looked at the boy who's playing a toy car all by himself and making engine noises with his mouth. It almost sounds similar to the vocal exercises his music major friend Jihoon used to do.

'Hi!' Jeonghan chirped and the boy curiously peeked up before ducking down his head. 

Well, it is kind of common for kids to react to strangers this way. So, Jeonghan puts in some more effort with little bit of energy left. 

'So, you like trucks? I like trucks too!' 

The boy looks up and his big black eyes zeroes on him with so much clarity that Jeonghan coos at the sight inwards. If there's anything in the world that Jeonghan likes with no conditions applied, then it should be the kids. 

'You have trucks at home?' 

There's a slight lisp tagged to his clear cut words, Jeonghan observes. He eagerly nods at the question and takes the liberty to pinch the boy's chubby cheeks. 

'I have fire trucks, jeeps, and cars too!' Jeonghan said with faux excitement, clearly lying about his possession of toys. All he has is a stuffed giraffe toy which was presented by Mingyu on his birthday. The CEO had mentioned that the toy very much resembles him and Jeonghan didn't hold himself from whacking the grown child on the head with the birthday gift. 

'You save people from fire?' 

Jeonghan mentally cringed at the sight of him saving people from fire. He couldn't save his own food burning in microwave. Well, no one is going to know about that...

'You could say so.' Jeonghan managed to polish the words in his favourable way. He managed to learn that tactic from several rounds of casually chatting up with interviewers. They could try to adamantly pull out facts from your mouth but you must have to steer away from the bait by playing dumb. 

'You also save people from water?'

Jeonghan cocked his head to the side, busy with a small impromptu thinking session. He has no idea what this boy is trying to imply or hinting at. 

'I can try..'

Actually that part is not far away from the truth. He's a decent swimmer and have saved people countless time from drowning in deep pools. Sea experience is still a question mark, though.

'Well, you are an angel then!' 

The adult laughed at the cute declaration. He couldn't help but reach out and ruffle the young boy's raven silk like locks and the latter was visibly delighted by the attention. 

'I'm not an angel.' Jeonghan said lightly. 'We all are just humans.' 

The boy was about to say something but sound of foot steps caught his attention and the kid's face lit up at the sight of the man whom Jeonghan wanted to avoid like plague. It's not that he's a vile man. He's actually a great person- most liked by his family members (an off putting attribute to his taste), possessor of a gold collar job ( a public prosecutor, really.), and most importantly Jeonghan's former crush (more like trying to move on from him even after five long years)

Jeonghan at one point was very sure that man had a little bit of feelings for him, but when his assumption was proved wrong by the man himself in the form of a polite rejection, Jeonghan couldn't help but feel like he ran a whole circus. 

It was nothing compared to being neglected by his own family. 

Jeonghan's heart raced as the man walked towards them in languid posh steps and gently called for the kid. 

'Seungkwan-ah..' 

'Dad!' 

Wow, this man- Choi Seungcheol already has a kid! So he is a married man now?! There goes the sound of his heart breaking. 

Jeonghan realized he has a long way to go, if at all he wants to pursue the path of satisfying his parents.

Upon closer inspection, one could spot ridiculous amount of similarties between David and Seungcheol. This, very well could add on to one of the many reasons why Jeonghan began to hate Sophie werds' character. 

'He didn't bother you, did he?' 

The somber tone of his voice still had a noteworthy impact on Jeonghan. The writer mentally berates himself for even thinking about a married man like that. 

'No, not at all. He's a precious kid.' Jeonghan said, showering Seungkwan with fondness. 'I-I'll get going.'

He didn't turn around as he strode out in a haste. Things can get complicated if he'd set his wavering mind in liberal. And whilst at it, he bregrudgingly admits to himself that he does not really hates Seungcheol for being the perfect man he is. It's just the sadness and a rearing green head from within that he couldn't be at least 10% of what the other is. 

His hunger is the least concern of his when he swiftly boards the car and starts the engine to life.

'I may return back to the city before the wedding, at the rate things are rolling around here.' Jeonghan says to the person on the phone, while munching on the street food he picked on his way. He was planning to stop by a family restaurant and get a full course meal to make sure his stomach is filled for the entirety of the day, but the street food aroma lured him like a prey towards poisonous plants.

'Why? Your parents are bitching out already?' A soft voice inquires. 

Jeonghan snorts at that. 'Nope, that's a given, in fact. I think I'm going to die of embarrassment here. Not just a small one- the giant urge that might makes you want to have the ground swallow you up wholly- I'm talking about that kind of an embarrassment.' 

The person on the line, Joshua clearly chuckles at the exaggeration. 'Well, I can't take a stand if you're not telling me what's troubling you.' 

Jeonghan clears his throat at that. 'I ran into Seungcheol again.' 

'Seungcheol who?' 

Jeonghan can't believe that his editor and his best friend is not familiar with the details of his life. His most spectacular turn of events were:

1\. Him getting kicked out of his house (Jeonghan simultaneously believes that he's the one who left him, but whatever)

2\. Him getting his second book fetching so much fame for him.

3\. His cousin's best friend Seungcheol rejecting him in a polite manner that had him unable to be mad at the man and it drove him crazy for the same reason.

'Choi Seungcheol. You were the one who fetched me from a local bar. My parents' 40th wedding anniversary incident? I got shit drunk and you drove me to your home and allowed me to retch in your toilet?' 

'So you remember that?' Joshua's voice raises an octave or two. 'You pretended to be innocent and heartbroken, and I let you off for that sole reason. I should have been more firmer with you, considering how much of a snake you could be.' 

Jeonghan drinks water, as he throws the styrofoam plates in the trash can. 'Hey! I may have faked that innocent part, but the heartbroken me was true.'

The sun shines brightly, a little more than usual and unlike anyone, Jeonghan basks in the colour and heat of it. Sure, it makes his dry skin perspire and he feels like he will die if not for the promise of the air conditioner cooling him down as soon as he boots the car, but-

'Hey! Are you there?'

'Sorry.' Jeonghan silently apologizes and he can hear a muted sigh from the other side. Joshua probably figured out that he was caught up with his own thoughts.

'Jeonghan. I'm sure you found him attractive and all, but he rejected your proposal because he clearly wasn't interested in you, at least in that way. Do yourself a favor and don't be awkward around him.' 

Jeonghan nods and decides to end the call. 'Okay, I'll talk to you later.' 

The point is, whenever you talk to Joshua, you'll get to hear the truth; not the thing you want to hear or expect to hear. His reasoning ability will border pragmatism and it will make you stop thinking about anything anymore and have a conclusion reached with exchange of few words. 

'What was I thinking...?' Jeonghan asks himself as he hooks his fingers around the handle of his car door. 

He hates to admit it, but for a second, Jeonghan slipped into his own fantasy of meeting up with an old crush and falling for them against one's own wish. He mentally chastises him for that, because how the hell Jeonghan can feel that way right after meeting the man's kid? Seungcheol's married, for the love of god!

As an author, it is his greatest aspect, advantage even, that he can afford to let his brain sail into a stream of imagination. The point is, it could severely affect one when returning back to the reality. 

Jeonghan calls himself a delulu and reminds himself that Seungcheol is David. 

They are perfect and Jeonghan hates people of that kind. 

The afternoon found Jeonghan lazily scrolling through his Instagram feed and sound of someone clearing throat got his attention. It was a bit of deal to have the hammock turn- the one he was sitting on- and in that mean time, his mind suggested that it could be Yoona. He was wanting her to be that person because it had been ten hours since he spotted that woman. 

But turns out it was Seungcheol of all people. 

Jeonghan's mind went blank, and the span of second he took contemplating whether to smile at the man or not, Seungcheol beat him to flash a charming grin and that was enough to send the writer slip back into one of his fantasies where _Marie found love in forbidden doors to hell and caught herself a deal with satan._

'Hi.' He said in a clipped tone and pretended to not notice the way Seungcheol's smile slipped at the cold greeting. 

'You are not up for lunch? We were looking for you.' 

Jeonghan had to snort at the lie. He knows no one except Yoona and maybe, her fiance would be worried about his absence. He decided to go against it though, not wanting to embarrass Seungcheol for his kindness. 

'Uh, Thanks. I just had a late breakfast. I probably will find something to eat by early evening.' 

A pregnant pause followed after that exchange, and Seungcheol was the one to break it. 

'We are going out to the shore now.' 

The fact that an outsider is updated about their family kind of sends him to a pit of hole he refuses to jump in. That Jeonghan- who cried for his family's love and support- died years ago and no words can resurrect him. 

'Yoona told you wouldn't come. And I kind of know why....' Seungcheol scratched his head, almost looking sheepish. Jeonghan didn't let that sink in, instead his eyes marveled the way a small pink hue adorned his cheeks. The elder probably wanted to know the full story behind his hostility towards his own family members.

'Yeah...' Jeonghan agreed and decided to step out of the hammock. 

'In that case, can you take care of Seungkwan? I know I'm asking too much, but he has recently recovered from flu and I don't want to risk exposing him to wild wind, again.' 

_Ask your wife to stay back with your kid_ almost came out of his mouth, but he swallowed it down barely, covering up the act with a small smile of his. Seungcheol looks relieved at the gesture. Jeonghan reckons the couple might want a moment alone, just for themselves, and they probably couldn't afford to have one considering they have a kid who requires their constant care and attention. 

'No worries. Just ask Seungkwan if he'd be okay with me alone. I don't want him to start crying the moment you leave. Where's his mother?'

The man seems to be caught off guard by the question. 'She's in Seoul. I can't bring her here. A little unwell.'

Jeonghan "Ahh"s empathetically. 'It'd be nice if Seungkwan can warm up to me well."

Seungcheol smiled. 'Believe me or not, he's been asking about you since morning. He still thinks that you save people from fire and water. Don't break it to him that you actually can't' 

To say that Jeonghan's growing fond of the kid is an absolute understatement. 

_A beautiful blossom that sprouted somewhere in the vast green land, bristling its petals under the orange sun and swayed to and fro by gentle breeze that spread its fragrance pervasively....._

Seungkwan reminded him of that. A beautiful blossom, that's new to the world with so much of questions and unsolved puzzles. That's how he sees Seungcheol's kid. 

'If it makes him happy, I won't.' Jeonghan simply answers. 'I'll take care of him. You have fun now that you can move freely about.' 

'Yeah?' Seungcheol ends the affirmative with a questioning note and covers that up with an awkward laugh. 'I'll see what I can do.' 

Jeonghan watched Seungcheol go and he wondered if the man even remembers him asking out.

Jeonghan hopes he doesn't. 

Seungkwan tumbled a bucket of legos upside down and Jeonghan got more excited than the kid in the room. Probably Seungkwan figured that too considering how he beamed at the adult before sweeping the pieces all together at them and settling on Jeonghan's lap. The writer didn't see that coming but he pretended to be nonchalant about it. 

His inner self wants to embrace Seungkwan in one big bear hug and squeeze squeals out from him, pat his head and feed cookies and milk to his heart's content. Again, Seungkwan brought Jeonghan back from his fantasy by poking his thigh with his index finger. 

'Can we build _towuhs?'_

Jeonghan enthusiastically nodded his head and began to arrange the legos, putting maximum effort with his hands having to work around the kid on his lap. The young boy's hair smells of a popular baby shampoo and Jeonghan grimaces at the choice. Couldn't Seungcheol afford an exquisite brand? 

There's ton of varieties in the market and he's aware of the details, because he used to work as a baby sitter, during initial days of his independent living. The income was moderate but sufficient for Jeonghan's lifestyle. It was difficult to land himself in that kind of job since he didn't have a firm degree or qualification to support him except his endless love for kids. 

Jeonghan watched the kid carefully construct the tower in a pyramid kind of fashion before he began to linearly arrange them. After a while the pieces began to wobble and Jeonghan figured it could tumble down anytime now. Just as he guessed the pieces scattered on to the floor, save for the pyramid base. 

He expected Seungkwan to cry and throw a fit, a litany of _it's okay, Seungkwan_ was ready on his tongue, but the boy just pouted and looked at Jeonghan. 

_Wait! why are you looking like that at me?_

Jeonghan wanted to ask, but he didn't voice out, except he leaned down to gently pinch the boy's cheeks, hoping it would placate the sadness and frustration. 

'You are an angel, right? So you should make it possible!' 

Jeonghan's eyes enlarged at the claim. First of all the title was too cringey, like- he couldn't look at his face in the mirror and call himself an angel, because he knows he's far from it, but when he looked down at Seungkwan, his heart seems to feel otherwise and tries to mend the way the young kid prefers which is a rare case for him. 

'I-I really don't know, Seungkwan.' 

Seungkwan frowns, his lips beginning to wobble and Jeonghan takes that as a cue to alter his response in a positive manner. 

'We'll do it, come on!' 

Jeonghan's hands weren't made for constructing lego towers, nor his mind was articulating enough to provide for a tower that could be constructed by strict architectural regulations from Seungkwan (_no, no, it should be built one after one-like this!_) but somehow his neurons have managed to scramble up some creativity to work his way. 

'Can you lie down straight, yeah like that, great! 1...2...3..._click!_' 

Seungkwan's lying on the carpeted floor with legos lying parallel to him, arranged in a linear fashion, resembling a tower- only that it is dislodged on the floor. The pic of them on a top view could certainly make it appear like Seungkwan is as tall as the tower, which he thinks the younger would like the most. 

And true to his guessing, Seungkwan squealed, jumped and left a wet kiss on Jeonghan's cheeks. He zoomed the picture, scanning every pixel and Jeonghan's fondness was skyrocketing at the endearing expression on Seungkwan's face. 

'I can't wait to show it to daddy! I'm tall now!!!' 

Jeonghan nods and wonders what he could do next to entertain the kid. 

Seungcheol catches him having Seungkwan on his hip and twirling around, and the embarrassment quickly crowds him like people after a store posing with a huge discount sale placard. He tries to let Seungkwan on his feet but the younger is not budging; forcefully latching to Jeonghan, like he's some sloth to his tree. 

The prosecutor smiles at them like he sees the whole galaxy in that small room, and Jeonghan's breath is caught in his chest at that sight. That show of dimples shouldn't be legal at all, considering how he feels his chest constricting at the view of his attractive face embellished with equally attractive smile.

'I see that someone's getting way to comfortable~' Seungcheol sing songs and Seungkwan abandons him in a second to barrel towards the former, which the man finds now difficulty in picking up the younger boy like a ball pin and hiking him up above the head. 

Seungkwan giggles at that, the aerial view of his father and the unbalanced hold on his torso amusing him so much. Jeonghan couldn't help but mirror that expression, finding a child in its culmination of happiness, satisfying him more than anything else. 

'Thank you for taking care of Seungkwan, I definitely owe you one.' Seungcheol says, slightly out of breath from holding Seungkwan in that position. Now Jeonghan truly questions how fit the man actually is and finds it within him to validate the exterior appearances of bulges and pectorals. 

Jeonghan shakes himself out of the thought, grimacing at his own wire of imagination. 

'You do.' He says. 'You had a working author take care of someone's son.' 

Seungcheol freezes momentarily and cocks his head, before chuckling away the mild confusion that took over him- at least that's how it appears to Jeonghan. 

'Sure, Jeonghan.' 

The writer blanches at that remark. Could it be possible that Seungcheol is unaware of the fact that he's a successful writer now? Jeonghan does know to act humble and never finds reason as to why flaunting his success could be of use to him, but at the moment he surely wants to rub his success story at everyone's face, including Seungcheol's. 

Before he could open his mouth and make a subtle remark on how "His autograph has more value these days", Seungcheol throws a charming smile over his shoulder and closes the door behind him softly, leaving Jeonghan with a locked tongue.

He simply resorts to heave a deep sigh and move to his bed, except he steps on a lego on his way and have an impromptu moan of pain pulled out from his throat.

Jeonghan feels that nothing will go well living amongst people who despises him.


	2. chapter 2

That evening Yoona enters his room silently and props on his bed with a sly smirk and Jeonghan pretends to not notice in the favor of reading a book that's collecting dust in one of the many shelves in the room. The plot's already inducing him a mild headache and he knows it is going to go full blown with the way Yoona is giving her the looks- which most of the time means _So, what's this tea you made that I had the pleasure of consuming not so while ago?_

'What?' He asks in a tone that borders mild chastising, but Yoona fakes innocence by shrugging her shoulders, still intently staring at her cousin. 

'You looking at me won't magically pop words out of me.' Jeonghan declares and the woman catches on to the thread faster than a lion after its prey. 

'Seungcheol is gushing about how you could be a perfect parent one day and that anyone could be lucky to have you.' Yoona said and Jeonghan's heart thuds at every remark, his small blood bag violently thrashing in the confines of his rib cage. 

'Well, yeah. I took care of Seungkwan today and he probably is just thankful.' 

'People say "Thank you" for that, not create hypothetical scenarios as he's doing at the moment. Are you very sure that you guys don't have a thing going on at the moment. I'd love to play the matchmaker!' 

Jeonghan positively looked scandalized at Yoona's enthusiasm over tying links between him and Seungcheol. The prosecutor is married with a child, for heaven's sake. Has Yoona undergone a selective memory loss from overbearing wedding stress?

'I can't believe I'm hearing this from you! Who even does that?' 

Yoona doesn't have a proper reply to Jeonghan's flabbergasted self and the latter feels that's how she should feel at the moment. 

'Okay.....what's wrong with you and Seungcheol coming together? Are you still thinking about him rejecting your call for date in the past? Fuck Hannie, how long are you going to dwell in the past?' 

Now, Jeonghan's the one who's unable to respond to the exasperated look on Yoona's face. 

'Are you seriously kidding me? That's not the only reason! He's taken now! Is there a way I can be with him without having each of our asses called out for infidelity?' 

Jeonghan finds Yoona stunned in silence and he oddly feels proud for smacking some sense into her. She's going to get married in few days and how come she's so ignorant with the terms of relationships and its connection to social taboos?

'What do you mean he's taken?' 

Jeonghan eyeballs her. 'You heard me. He's taken, taken as in he has a wonderful wife waiting to kiss his cheeks when returning from work.' 

Yoona snorts, one, two times before barking out a full laughter. Years have passed but Jeonghan still finds it annoying, like- how did she score a man like Changmin with so much of elements that could annoy someone to the point that they could kill themselves in anguish?

Her laughter subsides to mere hiccups and Jeonghan's contemplating whether to smack her in the head or not. 

'You two should probably talk to each other, at the earliest.' She said, scooting out of the bed.

'There's nothing to talk.' Jeonghan curtly says but Yoona is having none of it. 

'Nah, the meeting has to happen. Anyways, I'll send the dinner upstairs since your royal ass won't come down to mingle with us.' 

Jeonghan shrugged and pretended to go back to the back. He knows Yoona's just trying to joke about the situation and no matter how nonchalant Jeonghan is about the issue, the fact that he can't get together with his family hurts him now and then. Once the door was closed shut he throws the book away and ruffles his own hair in frustration. 

He shouldn't have caved in the first place. Stepping out of Seoul city is turning out to be a very bad idea. 

Sophie Werd's David is liked by everyone and boy if Seungcheol isn't the David in his life...

Jeonghan witnesses the scene with his own eyes; the way his family members adores Seungcheol and Seungkwan, the way his mother fawns over him and goes on to call a complete stranger "son" when her biological heir is standing before her like an orphan. For what? To chase his own dreams at the cost of no one's happiness?

He clenched his fist and walked past the scene like he's blind to his environment, except Seungcheol jumps before him and holds his elbow like he owns him or something. 

Jeonghan awkwardly shuffles away and Seungcheol immediately lets go of him, panic evident on his face. Seeing the innocence brimming from his eyes, Jeonghan almost feels bad for behaving this way, but as anyone would suggest, anger and disappointment only looks for a channel to vent, entirely making someone lose the capability of reasoning with oneself. 

'Yoona asked me to talk to you. Is everything alright?' 

Jeonghan nodded. 'Yeah, good.' 

He could feel his mother's eyes burning holes on his skin, but he could care less. 

'Oh...I thought we could hang out for breakfast. Yoona told you don't eat here at all, so I was figuring out a nice place to eat except it's difficult to make reservations-' 

'Actually.' Jeonghan saves the man and himself by cutting out the endless ramble. 'It's okay. I can take care, and whatever Yoona said. Just don't mind her. Your family comes first before anything.' 

Seungcheol pouts thoughtfully, and Jeonghan's annoyance dissipates at the mere sight of it. A small smile is threatening to invade his lips and someone clears their throat behind them. 

Jeonghan turns back to find his mother looking at them with narrowed eyes and he smirks at her, turning on heels. 'I really don't understand, Jeonghan...' Seungcheol says and Jeonghan just returns a smile at his direction.

'Guess, that's better for all of us.' 

'_Just get laid with him, it will be a one night affair, nobody will notice.' _Mingyu says on the line and Jeonghan is half tempted to end the call. Talking with Joshua and Mingyu are like two very contrasting experiences one could get. 

'I wonder how you'd react if Wonwoo were to do the same.' 

He knows he's pushing the buttons and just like what he expected he hears a menacing muted growl from the other side. 

_'I'd go on a killing rampage.' _

'Exactly! His wife must be devastated knowing her husband slept with someone else!' Jeonghan tries to reason and imagines the prosecutor holding Seungkwan in his hands and his wife lovingly standing beside them...

_'Actually! Do you know his wife?' _

Jeonghan makes a non-committal sound. 'Does it matter? I haven't seen her once at all....she must be way pretty-both inside and out, if Seungcheol was so whipped that he rejected my advances..' 

He hears Mingyu shuffling, probably spreading out papers on the table and going through it. Jeonghan was about to set the man free from his hold and end the call but Mingyu continues to address the issue. 

_'He rejected you because of her?' _

Jeonghan hums. 'I guess so. When I asked him out, he said he was _caught up with something_. It must be his wife.' 

Mingyu chuckles and Jeonghan smiles too. _'Why don't you ask his wedding pics or just go see her and sate your curiousity? Also, well....I don't know how to put this..but do you have...like, I don't know, serious crush on him, like very serious one?'_

Jeonghan's mind couldn't come up with an answer for this question. He's perfectly fine, stable and goes chastising his own self for desiring a man who's off limits and couldn't believe the way he had lowered his character for the sake of his fluttering heart. But then when Seungcheol appears before him, all of his rationality, his conscience and wit departs like an electric train from the station.

'No.' 

Mingyu breathes loudly and Jeonghan winces at the idea of what's about to come. '_You don't sound that convincing_.'

'Even if I like him, does it matter? I just won't be able to be with him. I guess it is the lingering old feelings.' 

_'How much did you like him exactly? Because crushes don't last long, love does.' _

Jeonghan's chest drops at the words. No way could he fall for a man like Seungcheol. It's just his looks...that's all!

'You know I hate his type. I just don't stick around with people who are cut out from fairy tales...like those perfect princes who are good at everything and the world loves him for whatever he does.' 

_'Hey...Hey..Hey...you are confusing me here. You say you hate him, but you have a crush on him, how is that possible?' _

Jeonghan shrugs but it takes him few seconds to realize that Mingyu has to see him to get the message across. He drives along the front porch of the house the whole family is staying in and he is very much tempted to take a U turn and drive his way out, because there, Seungcheol is playing with Seungkwan. The elder is throwing the plastic ball ever so lightly at the boy and Seungkwan returns the action with full force and Seungcheol catches it with a hand, not investing much effort into it. 

By all means, the sight shouldn't attract Jeonghan, but it does, much to his chagrin. 

'_You there?' _

Jeonghan sighed, rubbing his face. 'Yeah...and I guess, I just...fell for him back then because of that sole reason. Who wouldn't want a perfect someone in their life...?' 

'_Wow, this is new, Jeonghan. You know what, now I'm curious. Can you give his name again, I wanna dig up something about him.' _

Jeonghan chuckled. 'Seriously you'll be wasting your time, Mingyu.' 

'_I'm not going to do the job. I have people for that, just give me his name.' _

Jeonghan's eyes fell on the man who's carrying a giggling Seungkwan on his shoulders. The sunshine paints them in the prettiest picture and Jeonghan gets lost in his head, once again. 

_The tiniest blossom was supported by a banyan, often shedding leaves to protect it from heavy winds and murky water. Nothing could match up their symbiotic love, which had the sunshine turn scalding hot in envy. _

'_Jeonghan?' _

'His name is Choi Seungcheol. He's a public prosecutor.' 

Jeonghan from the balcony of his room sees Yoona and Changmin leaving the house in a car and he feels utterly useless, because he must be helping them with the wedding work, right? Also, that's where the happiness in attending a marriage ceremony lies- to see if the decoration matches with their taste, to have the menu revised and arrange the guests seats while counting the tables...

He sighed, understanding why she can't approach him regarding these things. Probably she couldn't do anything under the hawk eyes of her parents, or that she simply refuses to put him in an uncomfortable position as there's no way he can help her setting the arrangements without running into his parents.

Whatever that is- Jeonghan falls into the softness of his bed- he can spend his time rolling on his mattress and sleep like a baby. 

He jerks up from the comfort of his calling slumber at the sound of his door opening and there stands Seungcheol with a small smile that's definitely not good for Jeonghan's health. 

He inwardly curses him, because there goes his peace of mind. 

'Were you about to go to sleep? Seungcheol inquires as he approaches him like he's about to catch a hissing cat. Jeonghan cocks his head at the question. 

'Yeah...' He says, as he sits up. 'Want me to take care of Seungkwan again?' 

Seungcheol chuckles and shakes his head. 'I'm with a better request this time.' 

'Nope, that can't be.' Jeonghan leans towards the man, a little. 'Taking care of Seungkwan has been the only best thing that happened to me, since my arrival.' 

Something crosses across Seungcheol's face and it disappears in a blink of his eyes. 

'Sorry to disappoint,this doesn't involve Seungkwan. Yoona asked us to check out her dress from this boutique and to get Changmin's tux as well.' Seungcheol said and Jeonghan couldn't process the piece of information- or invitation, to be precise. 

This surely is a single man task and the wedding dress is not going to be a size of mountain. Those huge biceps will be of more help to Seungcheol than he will be. 

'Are you sure, because I have zero experience when it comes to dresses.' 

Seungcheol chuckles as he moves forward to friskily ruffle his blonde locks. Jeonghan was sent to a state of shock for a small fraction of a second by the contact. 

'Chill, Jeonghan. We are there to pick the dress only, not to choose one for her. Yoona won't trust me with that definitely. So you won't have a problem coming with me unless....' 

'It's okay, I'm coming.' Jeonghan says and rolls out of the bed, a little begrudgingly. 'Give me a second to get ready.' 

Seungcheol simply hums and leans on his hands, sitting on the bed. Jeonghan turns a little to check if Seungcheol is there and bites his lips, as his inner demon wakes up with a damning suggestion. 

Without much thinking, he pulls up his blue tee over his head and leaves his back, bare to the eyes of the man sitting behind him. Jeonghan reasons to his conscience that _Seungcheol's a straight man and he won't have a problem with me exposing my back and also-_

After changing to a beige loose shirt that's almost as similar as his skin colour, his hands gets to the hem of his shorts-

'I'll wait outside.' Came the hushed declaration from Seungcheol, and Jeonghan easily spotted the reddening ears of the man who rushed past him to the door.

Apparently, Seungcheol does care. 

'Conservative people be like...' Jeonghan said to himself with a chuckle, as he shimmied out of his shorts and went to fetch a skin tight jeans, just to see how Seungcheol will react to this attire. He has a flat ass but has great thighs to compensate.

'Such a waste.' Jeonghan says as he feels like he's seducing a stone in the room. Seungcheol is straight as an iron rod and Jeonghan could possibly not relish in the fruit of his hard work. He almost works himself out of the skinny jeans because it's suffocating his skin but then he's too lazy to do so and in the end, he walks out of his room, wanting to get this over with as soon as possible. 

The car ride is awkward, to say the least. 

Seungcheol's driving his own with Jeonghan riding the shotgun. The writer's taking the liberty to meddle with the music system, switching songs as he likes. Then "Tell me" by Sabrina Claudio pops up and Jeonghan doesn't know if he wants to laugh or cry. He could visibly see Seungcheol shifting in his seat and for both of their sake, he turns off the player for good.

'You need to upgrade your music choices. It's either sad or sexy, no in between.' 

Seungcheol chuckles and it sounds so painful, even to Jeonghan's ears. 

'Seungkwan rules my playlist with "Baby shark" song. Cut me some slack, will you?' Seungcheol says and Jeonghan just smiles at that. 

'You should show wedding photo sometime.' 

Seungcheol looks at him with a weird expression. 'Huh?' 

Jeonghan ignores the sound and doesn't speak up until they are stopped by the traffic lights. 'I know, given our history and all...but hey, I won't regret seeing you dressed all good in the most important day of your life.' 

The prosecutor gives him an once over before doubtfully nodding his head, confusion written all over his face. 'Sure.' 

The shop keeps them waiting for ten minutes and Seungcheol's texting someone fiercely that Jeonghan steers away from the effect of intensity. 

Probably, work related stuff or...wife. He grimaces at what the back of his mind supplies. Lately, his mind has been revolving around the crumbs of moments he spends with Seungcheol and he absolutely hates himself for that. 

Jeonghan catches his own reflection in mirror and he inwardly winces at the way his shirt is appearing sheer under the lights of the shop. Someone near him could very much figure out the curves of his torso. He feels severely under dressed and like a man baiting out for a hook up in a cheap bar. 

He turns to find Seungcheol glancing away from the phone and looking at him. Jeonghan folds his hands and turns away consciously, which is in contrast with the way he exposed himself back in his room. He didn't care about Seungcheol catching glimpse of his skin in the room, but now he's too uncomfortable with the piercing gaze of the man. 

_With my body being immodest, skin exposed to your eyes- I feel powerful and weak all at same time. The power of having your eyes on me and only on me and the weakness of losing my sanity over every touch you send my way. _

Jeonghan shivers at his own monologue, hoping he remembers long enough to pen it down as soon as he reaches his room.

He was too caught up with his thoughts that he didn't notice a coat draped on him. 

'I was about to insist you wearing a different shirt but I was trying to not cross the line.' Seungcheol whispers as he stands behind Jeonghan. The latter's trying to come out of it and give back an apt reply. But he was only able to manage a "thanks" in the end. 

Seungcheol still stands behind and Jeonghan slightly turns- and seeing him up close, the way his long eyelashes leave a light shadow on the apple of his cheeks, how his face dips and bulges into a right shape and the hard jawline...most of all, those soul sucking orbs that are glassy, round and pitch black with a concentrated pupil that's dilating slowly...

'Excuse me' 

Jeonghan snaps out of the reverie and Seungcheol cranes his head to look at the sales woman calling for them. 

'Your purchase is ready. Please come and collect it.' 

Seungcheol turns to follow her, leaving Jeonghan collecting air to make up for the time he forgot breathing. He closes his eyes and curses inwardly at him. What was he thinking? Seungcheol must have known that he still has feelings for him!

_In Sophie Werd's book, David chooses to live with the person his parents picked for him. The poor farm girl was feeding her chicks when David and his wife were served pork belly on a silver platter. Their lives were never meant to collide. David loved the farm girl Ellen. But he married Rachel Dernestry, the daughter of a Baron. David may have chosen to leave his love behind. But Ellen carried the weight of their memories in her heart. _

'Jeonghan?' 

Seungcheol is standing there, carrying the dress and he could get why Yoona specifically sent Seungcheol to collect it. He hurries up and opens the shop's glass doors for him to let the man out, as the other is unable to do so with his occupied hands. 

With his help, Seungcheol successfully loads the dress into the car and they head out to the place where Changmin has ordered the tux. The evening has morphed to a pitch black night and the roads look positively abandoned. 

Their car steathily moving down the lane with bright head lights on had Jeonghan feel like they both are eloping to a different country overnight. A smile blooms on his lips at his own stupid imagination and he hides it by turning to look through his side of window.

'What does that smile of yours mean?' Seungcheol inquires with a small smile and Jeonghan shakes his head.

'Just a plot came to my mind. I daydream a lot, so try not to freak out if I smile all by myself in your presence.' 

Seungcheol chuckles and the richness of the sound rolls something in his stomach. 

'It's getting pretty late, won't Seungkwan miss you?' 

The prosecutor shook his head. 'Your mother takes care of him in my absence. She'll keep him company.'

Jeonghan perks up at the mention of his mother and opens his mouth to ask him about it more when a loud ringtone from phone interrupts him. Seungcheol wordlessly switches on the phone and talks it over with speaker on. The writer for the love of god couldn't decipher the weird law vocabulary and gently reminds himself that he should get the hang of it, for the sake of general knowledge. 

Seungcheol effortlessly swivels the car through the drive way of the tuxedo shop and Jeonghan signals to the other that he'd pick it up by himself. But Seungcheol firmly shakes his head in a negative manner and ends the call curtly with a hurried "call you back soon". 

'I could have taken it by myself, you know..' Jeonghan says, as they walk towards the entrance of the store. 

'And have you seated there like a lost lamb? Nope.' Seungcheol says and Jeonghan narrows his eyes at that. 

'I'm not some damsel in distress.' 

'But you are an innocent intellectual.' Seungcheol said in a voice coated with amusement. 

Jeonghan inwardly wondered what part of him knowingly pull the act of undressing before Seungcheol was innocent. Probably the prosecutor is under the impression that he did in a whim. 

'Trust me when I say I'm not innocent.' 

Seungcheol opens the glass door for him. 'Really?' He asked with a raised eyebrow and Jeonghan couldn't help but think that the man is damn attractive. 

'Really.' Jeonghan echoed. 'My boss fears me.'

The shop keeper momentarily interrupts them and Seungcheol gives her the order name a tad bit quickly than he did at the boutique. Probably the gentle reminder Jeonghan gave him about Seungkwan is making the man now move a little faster than usual. Jeonghan's consumed by the warmth of the thought. 

'I can't relate.' Seungcheol snaps him out of his reverie. 'You seriously get lost in thoughts a lot. That's not nice, you know. Your presence of mind comes in handy.' 

Jeonghan straightens out at the claim. 'I tried to change it but then I figured it's a part of me. Moreover it helped me with my plot construction...couldn't say no to a tactic that'll give a roof over my head.' 

Seungcheol seems not impressed with the answer. 'Then what if people take advantage of you?' 

'They won't.' 

'Why not?' Seungcheol steps a little closer and Jeonghan fights with himself to not steer away from the man. 

'Because I have nothing to offer.' 

Jeonghan meant it when he said that. Apart from being a lone writer and a resourceful supplier of sarcasm, he's pretty much uninteresting. Seungcheol folds his arms over his chest and points a finger at him.

'You need to have your character studied....or possibly have someone declare your worth to you, looking straight in your eyes.' Seungcheol said with much conviction that Jeonghan had to avert his vision somewhere else. Guarding his heart from the prosecutor has been a difficult task until now.

'Why would I believe someone's words?' 

The duo began to stroll around the empty store in a mild pace, eyes and hands briefly checking out various pieces of vests and tux. 

'What if that someone is a person whom you truly treasure?' Seungcheol suggested, halting steps to stand before Jeonghan. 

'That's a bit far fetched. I can't even imagine myself getting in a relationship with someone- wait.' 

Jeonghan picks up a coat from the hanging rack and presses it against Seungcheol's chest. 'Doesn't it look cool?' 

The material is raven dark, fine shiny linen fit with grand attachment of small white stones that forms an unique pattern of leaf or sorts. It is something what hippy young teenagers prefer but oddly, this seems to suit his taste as well. Seungcheol's subdued grimace says otherwise. 

'It looks nice, doesn't it?' 

Seungcheol stays quiet but when Jeonghan takes the clips off to try wearing it on, does he interjects. 

'Well...I assume you have brought your own suit for the wedding and the party, right?' 

Jeonghan pauses in the middle and looks at Seungcheol. 'I have. I'll be staying only for the wedding by the way. Now that I see you, I'm pretty sure this suit will fit you more than I would to me...just look at this, you'll look stunning wearing this.' 

The prosecutor gently pushes away the approaching hands. 'No, I think I'll be fine.' 

'Wearing this you'll look more than fine. You will stand out so much during the ceremony! Seungkwan will look at you with so much pride with his big owl eyes, come on! try it once.' 

Seungcheol gets the coat from Jeonghan. The writer expected the other to trial the material but instead, Seungcheol puts it back on the hanger with cover on. 

'I think plain suits wedding ceremony, don't you think?' Seungcheol says with a placating smile, dragging Jeonghan by hand to a different aisle.

'Who said that? We can look fabulous on any day we want!' 

'I may really look like I run a circus wearing that. No one will take me seriously, just look at that gaudy thing-' Seungcheol sighed a little. 'It's not formal at all.' 

Jeonghan hums, trying to not get affected by the criticism for his taste. 'Designers have it in the shop for a reason. And wedding isn't some business event to keep it formal all the time. This is a beach wedding, moreover.' 

'Okay, you know what- I simply don't like it.' 

Jeonghan hates it whenever Seungcheol declines him with a smile. It's just that, his lips curve but those round orbs betray the contemn from within. It feels like the rejection he faced five summers ago, all over again. 

'That's fine.' He tries to say it with a smile but the mild hostility is evident in his voice and he can feel it himself. 'I mean, it's your decision at the end of the day.' 

Seungcheol breathes hard and lets go of Jeonghan's hand. 'Thanks, I guess.'

They don't utter a single word as the collect the costume. The drive back was even more awkward, compared to the way they started the journey. The silence is blaring loud and Jeonghan wishes he could slip into some sort of happy fantasy, but all that his mind is supplying are those sad unrequited love scenario.

'Do you want to stop by for dinner?' 

Jeonghan took a peek at his watch. 'It's just little over dinner time. Yoona must have left something for me and I'm sure my mother saved a whole set waiting for you at the dinner table.' 

He didn't want to come off as bitter and hostile, but that's how he's exactly propagating his mood at the moment and Seungcheol seems to have caught the memo. 

'Let's have it stored in the kitchen, then. Yoona went out with Changmin earlier so I doubt that she's home to save your portion. We are here in the middle of the city and we rarely get to hang out-' 

'Seungkwan must be waiting for you.' Jeonghan rudely interrupted, feeling a little apologetic but didn't want to express that.'......and I'm sure my mother is, as well.'

Seungcheol seemed to remain silent for a while. Jeonghan couldn't resist stealing a glance at him and when he did, he felt like a worst existing human on the earth because the prosecutor is kind of looking...unhappy?

His mind began to berate himself for his lack of politeness and that how petty he's acting just because Seungcheol wasn't satisfied with his taste. It's not just about the coat...the whole fiasco reminded him of the time he walked back with rejection heavy on his shoulder and the way Seungcheol expressed his despise for the material. It's not that deep, but no one knows what could tick someone at any given moment, right?

In retrospection, Jeonghan thinks it is for good, considering how he's growing attached to the man, feelings wise. He felt like his lone self is just out there seeking for some company but he knows now that it's not just about someone anymore. Seungcheol had always been a firm crush of his and the feelings for him had laid dormant somewhere in the corner of his heart all these days and now that he had the chance to meet the man again, it is slowly resurrecting. 

Probably the distance will put down whatever his mind is supplying him at the moment?

He feels the urge to confess his feelings and apologize to him. He's a married man. Jeonghan can't confuse Seungcheol and sabotage the beautiful family he has created. 

Jeonghan's many things but is not a home wrecker. 

The long journey comes to an end as Seungcheol parks the car before the house. Jeonghan shoots away the need to thank and ask if he wanted hand in carrying the stuff inside. It's not like the prosecutor is weak or something. 

'Jeonghan.' 

His action stutters as he withdraws his hand from unlocking the car door. He turns back to look at the man who has freed himself from the seat belt as well. 

'I-I didn't know denying your feelings would affect you this much.' 

Jeonghan's heart thumped at the words. He didn't know what exactly Seungcheol is referring to: About the choice of clothing or the way he refused his call for date. 

'What are you saying?' He played dumb, his want to fly away from the constraining situation intensifies as seconds tick down. 

'You know what I'm talking about...' Seungcheol looked at him directly in the eyes, voice assertive. At a time as such, Jeonghan couldn't help but find the man as ravishing as the Adonis. He doesn't know much about the Greek god and Jeonghan won't have the need to imagine about him, with Seungcheol sitting right before him. 

Jeonghan snaps out of his reverie. 'This is ridiculous.. ' 

He mutters to himself as he pushes the handle to get out of the vehicle but Seungcheol holds him down by the shoulders. The position is way too awkward, to say the least. The hands are keeping his shoulders pressed to the seat and Jeonghan twists a little in his seat to express his discomfort. Seungcheol probably got the message across but that didn't make him retract his hands. 

'It's just a coat...I was pretty rude to impose my opinion on you. You had every right to react like that. I get snappy sometimes, you are not at fault.....it's just me.' He ends the note with a small voice, looking down

'Jeonghan.' 

The writer looks up smiling at him. 'It's already late.........we should get inside.' 

When they both get down the car, Jeonghan smiles counting at what he said few seconds ago. It is definitely way too late to remember or rethink what happened five years ago.

The closure is unimportant as they had nothing to begin with.


	3. chapter 3

'I'm such a bad person, Shua. No wonder my own mother hates me.' Jeonghan whispers to his best friend via phone and he hears the sound of a deep breath, in return.

_'Where are you now?'_

'On my bed. Under the blankets. Are you editing now?' Jeonghan asks in a small voice, bordering the sound akin to a distressed puppy. 

_'My content provider is now sad and unable to send me his work. So I'm taking up other's work at the moment.' _

'I swear I will work on the project the moment I set my foot on Seoul.' He says, pulling the blanket over him. 'I guess I won't feel like shit if I see the busy streets and busier people.' 

_'Forgetting is not a way to get over the things. And no, you are not bad. The fact that you are fighting your pull to a committed man shows you have some sense in you. I commend you for that.' _

'But I'm not happy.' 

_'why?'_

'Because I like him, have always been feeling the same for him. Five years ago I liked him because I deemed him as the most perfect one; someone who is not like me- and I began to dislike the kind of his for the very same reason- at least, I believed so but now seeing him after a long break I feel like I'm back to square one!' 

_'Hannie-'_

'I feel very pathetic to yearn for someone whom I could never have in my life, you know..' 

_'Hannie.' _Joshua's voice was calm as ever, and Jeonghan instantly felt his wave of emotions settle down on hearing it. '_Life is unfair, sometimes. Don't stop liking him...like him from afar. He's someone else's and he wanted to be it that way. Like him, do everything you can to make him happy, be happy with him but make sure you know when to step back.'_

Jeonghan sat up, removing the blanket away. Rays of sunshine coloured his room in multitude of hues and he pushed his blonde hair back, staring at the clear blue sky. He somehow began to muse on the beauty of summer days- the scorching heat, pleasantly surprising evening showers, humid nights, bright days, greenery everywhere and thirst for water-

_'Jeonghan?'_

'Thank you, Shua.' The writer said with a barest hint of smile. 'You are very right. It is only possible to accept everything as they come......' 

Joshua hummed. '_And be happy with that.' _

'Just like how you enjoy the heat of the summer even if it burns and makes you sweat?' 

_'Summer is not just about heat, the beautiful blue sky is there as well. You wrote about that in your previous book, didn't you?' _

Jeonghan remembered it very well. He spent most of his time constructing that plot near the window, during the month of April. It was stifling hot, but the pretty light cascading through the open space made the experience extra more special. The romance story turned out to be great, as usual and people loved it so much that it was adopted by a film director in the making of a web series. 

'Thanks again, Shua. I was pretty down since last night. Thank you for waking me up.' 

He heard Joshua releasing one of his pretty chuckles and Jeonghan could imagine the cute face he would make at that time.

'_Anytime.' _

For once, Jeonghan couldn't care about where he ate, with whom he ate or how he ate. All he wanted was food and he was not going to shy away from people just because they had a problem with him. If few people are going to hate him, then let them be. Because he has millions outside hoping that he'd release his work already and he's glad that he's making their lives better with a little help from his imagination. 

Yoona smiles a cheeky one when she finds her cousin settling with a plate filled with well- a simple toast, eggs and a cup of coffee. 

'Nice to see you here, for once.' She says and Jeonghan nods. 

He almost completely misses the presence of Seungcheol there , with Seungkwan beside him, talking mile a minute. He focuses a smile towards a little boy and the kid beams like he's seen some sort of a grown up version of pokemon toys. The boy halts his chatter as he skips towards Jeonghan's side of the table and hops on to his lap, pressing a wet kiss on his cheek like the first time. 

Yoona coos at them from somewhere. Jeonghan could detect his lurking parents around the area but he's too caught up with the way his heart stutters when Seungkwan looks at him with so much adoration in his eyes. 

The wedding is two days away which means he'd be able to get to see Seungkwan for less than forty eight hours. 

'Did you sleep well?' 

The question is from Seungcheol and he's sporting a look of careless fondness, and Jeonghan wishes he's reading it wrong. It can never be so or that, its just because of his interaction with the little kid in his lap. 

'I did. I slept well, thanks. You?' 

Seungcheol shrugged. 'You could say so.' 

Yoona clears her throat with a pleased expression on her face. 'Thank you, Seungcheol. For keeping Jeonghan company.' 

Jeonghan smiles a little at that. They hardly hung out together and he doesn't know why Yoona is poking her nose in without knowing the context. Seungcheol gives him a same amused look and they both share a chuckle under their breaths. 

Seungkwan pokes his cheeks and Jeonghan presses a kiss to the kid's forehead, immensely pleased by the small cute actions from the boy seeking for attention. 

'The whole family will be at beach today, including Seungkwan.' Yoona says as she slaps the refrigerator door after taking out a carton of milk. Jeonghan winces at the sound and makes a mental note to help her cousin rectify that. 

'So?' 

'You should come with us.' Seungcheol said with expectant eyes. 'I'm sure Seoul is not a place where you can enjoy sea shore.' 

'It is not...but I'll pass.' Jeonghan meddles with the rim of his coffee cup in the favor of not looking at Seungcheol in the eyes. Seungkwan's busy playing with the designer rings on his thumb and Jeonghan indulges him by removing it off and handing over to the boy. 

'Seungcheol, dear. Pack your belongings for the day at beach. You shall not be disappointed because of someone's absence.' His mother's high pitched voice comes from kitchen and Jeonghan looks up at the man with a small smirk.

'Yes, Seungcheol my dear. You shall not be disappointed because the weather is not nice, you shall not be disappointed because of people who might have something up in their ass~' Jeonghan mimicked his mother, and Yoona barked out a laugh that startled Seungkwan so much that he dropped the ring to the floor.

Seungcheol was no better. He suppressed his laughter in order to not to disrespect the elder woman. Soon the older woman shook her head and walked away, leaving Jeonghan drunk in the bliss of finally getting back at her. 

'Jeonghan...you are something.' Seungcheol said in a small hushed voice and the other shrugged. 

'So I've been told.' 

Silence stretched over the time until they finished the breakfast. Yoona left them alone in the favour of helping Changmin out with some "Details, ugh, why am I even marrying him." which means, Seungcheol and Jeonghan along with Seungkwan are awkwardly sharing the dining space. 

Seungkwan's fine and is actually the saving grace of the situation with his beautiful smile but it is not sufficient to placate the laser eyes from Seungcheol and shrinking self of Jeonghan. 

'You really should come to the beach, Jeonghan. We've never had time together. It has been five years since last time I saw you and we have some words left unsaid-' 

'I really-' Jeonghan says with his eyes fixed on the kid on his lap. 'I really don't have anything to say.' 

'I might have.' 

'There's no use and need for that, Seungcheol. We are happy the way we are, aren't we?' 

Jeonghan refuses to acknowledge the elephant in the room while Seungcheol wants to feed the said animal. There's no point in digging up the past now that his former flame is married with a kid and that kid is sitting on his lap!

'I'm not sure about that, Jeonghan.' 

Lazing around in a room with no one to bother him is heaven for Yoon Jeonghan. 

The situation has provided him a book to forget the reality, a mug nearby a thermos full of coffee rich with sugar and curtains swept aside to let all the light of summer breach in with no hindrance. This should be Jeonghan's dream come true. 

Except his mind is wondering what Seungcheol would possibly wanted to talk to him about? 

Could it be that he's getting a divorce and he's willing to date Jeonghan?

Or is that he wants to see Jeonghan behind his wife's back?

Is he dying and wants him to take up Seungkwan? He has a wife though, so that possibility is cancelled.

He throws the book away and huffs petulantly. Jeonghan's half tempted to call up Mingyu and bother him but that's really bad considering how the man's busy running a publishing company. 

But hey, Mingyu very well can make time for him and he's a soft child who can't say no to him which means that Jeonghan can take advantage of his kindness. He reaches out for his phone and scrolls through the contact list and his action gets halted by a small knock to the door and cute eyes sneaking a peek through the narrow gap he has allowed himself to. 

Jeonghan internally coos at the very sight of Seungkwan. 

'Come in, precious!' 

Seungkwan comes running and jumps on Jeonghan which makes him lean back and fall on to the bed at the impact. He nonetheless balances himself with his elbows and tries to take at a look at the boy. 

The little one's eyes are clear and pristine with a shade of anticipation and the bite of lower lip suggests a hint of doubt or embarrassment, whichever that is. 

'You are an angel, right?' 

The question catches Jeonghan off-guard. Seungcheol had previously mentioned that the younger is happy with the way he's addressing him and he's willing keep it that way for a small bout of happiness the boy could experience because of him. 

'Ah, well- yes.' 

'Great!' The boy squealed. 'Can you please deliver this to my Father?' 

Jeonghan cocks his head. He spots the frail paper in the boy's hands and he softly takes into his hold. He wishes to examine it but the weight on his chest tells him he can't. 

'You can give it to him by yourself, you know?' 

Seungkwan pouts. 'No, I can't. Only you can because you're the angel.' The boy says with much conviction that it entirely impedes the wave of amusement Jeonghan felt before. 

'I-I don't understand, Seungkwan.' Jeonghan was helpless at this point. 

'Please, angel...I really want you to do this!'

With that, Seungkwan hurried out of the door leaving a very confused Jeonghan behind.

What kind of a situation has he gotten himself into? Jeonghan finds himself tempted by the idea of throwing the letter into the trash, but hey, he likes Seungkwan and for some odd reason, the kid requires a third person to convey some message to his own dad. 

Is it some kind of ploy planned by Seungcheol to get him to the beach? Sure it could be. 

'Fuck.' 

Jeonghan switches off his phone and climbs out of his bed with a huff, hoping that it is not some stupid shit pulled by Seungcheol. If that were to be the case, well, congratulations to the prosecutor because it will give provide the blonde writer a solid reason to avoid him at all cost. 

It's not very difficult to find his family in the stretch of the coast. The wedding decorations are going on at one side with Yoona, Changmin and few of the family members accompanying them, while the other side witnesses the carefree members exploring the shore, collecting sea shells and building sand castles. As cliche as it sounds, yeah. 

Seungcheol is in a white tank top, with his legs folded and circumscribed by his biceps that's bulging and shining under the sunlight. Jeonghan lets out a chuckle of disbelief, wondering why his thoughts and eyes revolve around the same aspects of Seungcheol. Would he be screwed back to normal once if he gets laid with the man?

He shivers in disgust at the thought. He can never ever get involved with a married man. 

Jeonghan looks down at the paper in his hands and decides to get over with it before he throws the thing in the sea. His feet digs into the sand and it feels like an herculean task to maneuver his leg to walk, with much lack of enthusiasm. 

Seungcheol notices him from ten feet far and he flashes a bright grin with his neck craned in his direction. All the tension, feelings, confusion leaves his shoulder, making him float with nothing but a sensation of refresh. It feels all new, beautiful and bright. 

He however sobers up and shakes himself out of it. This is not. He cannot-

'Hey.' Seungcheol reaches for his hand and lightly pulls him down and Jeonghan throws a half smile sort as he sits next to the man. 

_David sees the barn girl for one last time, as he relocates with his wife to the main city. They didn't have to exchange thoughts or hug each other and cry into their embrace, all they needed was a moment in each other's presence, to silently say that : I will never forget you, as long as I live, you live, as long as I breathe, you breathe as well, from within._

_They _needed that closure, for Jeonghan....he's really not sure about that. 

'Glad you came. I thought Seungkwan came in searching for you. He was throwing a fit earlier to get to the house...' Seungcheol says with a concerned eyes.

'He's with my aunt...he probably should be here soon.' Jeonghan said. 'Why didn't you come with him, then?' 

'Your aunt offered to take him to the building and said I should relax a bit. It made me more worried than anything.' The prosecutor said as he chuckled. 'Seungkwan does has that power, you know...to pull stubborn people out of their shell.' 

'Are you praising Seungkwan or jabbing me?' 

Seungcheol smiled as he pulled himself even more close to Jeonghan. The writer side glanced at the proximity and shook his head, because Seungcheol comes as a retriever puppy yearning for attention and how could Jeonghan possibly say no to those adorable eyes?

'That's a barb to your thick skull which is not ready to take in what others are trying to say.' 

Jeonghan doesn't like where this is going, so he swiftly changes the subject. He poses the letter before Seungcheol's eyes and asks him to take it. 

'I guess Seungkwan wants to involve me in whatever game you two like to play.' 

Seungcheol seems to be oblivious of whatever Jeonghan is taking about so he gently plucks the paper from his grasp and opens the fold to read it. The furrow between his brows dissolve into nothingness, as he hands the letter back to Jeonghan. 

Curiosity itches him of out of control and when his eyes zeroes on the words, his breath gets softly knocked out of his system. 

** _Dear dad _ ** ** _,_ **

** _I found angel. He is nice. He will tell how much I love you. I love you Dad! Come home soon, bye!_ **

'What?' 

Seungcheol looks at the sea like all of the answers to his question there. It, in much of a contradiction, finds how the movement of turbulent waves reflects his inner confusion.

'Seungkwan's father passed away three years ago. I doubt Seungkwan remembers anything about him, he was just a small baby then.' 

What? Seungcheol is alive and well, why would he say that he's dead when he's healthy and sitting before Jeonghan. Is he not Seungkwan's dad?

'You are alive, why would you say that?' 

Seungcheol gives him a look. 'Yeah, I'm alive. Though sometimes you pretend to ignore me like I don't exist at all.' 

'No, wait. Don't change the subject. You are Seungkwan's dad, right?' 

Seungcheol's face contorts before it blooms into a full blown smile and transitions to a booming laughter that it gathers attention from people around. Jeonghan quickly looks around before pressing his palm against Seungcheol's mouth. He feels the man's smile against his skin and Jeonghan can identify the stirring sensation in his chest, at that. 

'No, I'm **_not_ **Seungkwan's dad.' He says after taking the palm pressed against his mouth and gently keeping it in his hold. 

'But-But, he called you dad the other day!' Jeonghan tries to reason, albeit feeling stupid. 

'That, he calls me dad because I kind of look like his father. Seungkwan's father is my elder brother. He passed away in a car accident three years ago.' Seungcheol quietly says. 'It was such a devastating moment for us, and Seungkwan was just a baby then. He didn't have the chance to feel what's exploring the world with one's father. My sister-in-law was emotionally stuck and couldn't care about anything around her. My parents and I struggled to pull things together while trying to help us ourselves from the loss. Things were going downward spiral and Seungkwan's random giggles what helped us see the light in the dark tunnel-_hey!' _

Jeonghan didn't know he was crying until Seungcheol leaned forward to wipe his cheeks. No amount of soothing and pacifying words could wipe out the hurt he felt hearing the story. 

Jeonghan could go live without having his parents beside him, because they stepped out of line by disowning him altogether, but Seungkwan- the poor child needs his father and the letter in his hand is a solid proof for that. Him calling Seungcheol "dad" just because the man looks like him is just outright _sad._

'This fate is fucked up.' He says in between in trembling sobs. 'It's always the good ones-' 

'Jeonghan, hey, it's okay.' Seungcheol pulls the writer into a side embrace and murmurs the words at his temple. 'Crying for him won't bring him back. Whenever I see Seungkwan, I want to give him the best, more than what he could have got if my brother were to be alive.' 

'But look at this!' Jeonghan shoves the letter into his chest, which Seungcheol catches and keeps his hand there. 'He's longing for his father- he's writing a letter to the man and he's hoping that some angel could help him deliver it to the man!' 

'I know...I know...' Seungcheol dares to press a kiss at the top of his head and Jeonghan couldn't care about it with the weight on his chest. 'But he's happy, Jeonghan. He's growing up. We told him his father is in heaven to help out some people there. We come up with all sorts of stories to make him not miss my brother much....he almost asks everyone he meets up if they are an angel and they mostly will deny with a kind smile or a weirded out look- of course you were an exception.' 

Jeonghan looks up to meet Seungcheol's eyes and finds unshed tears there, accumulated at the corner. 

The rustling wind knocks them out of the confines of his almond eyes and Jeonghan's chest tightens like he's going to die from lack of breath. He averts his gaze elsewhere and finds the pretty sunset orange draping over the horizon. 

'Thank you, Jeonghan. For accepting Seungkwan's words, the letter and for- everything.' 

Jeonghan nods and he's not sure if Seungcheol caught the message. But the patting on his shoulder and slide of his hand over his arms assured him that Seungcheol did receive it. 

They watch the sunset in silence, people slowly moving out, darkness engulfing them as seconds tick down. They struggle to step away from each other as comfort turns out to be an entity which they can find only in each other. 

The letter in Jeonghan's hand flutters, fights in his grasp and flies away from that place, blown and blended in air. None of them make a move to find it. Probably it is meant to fly that way so the words could comfort someone, somewhere. 

'You really assumed a lot without asking me anything.' Seungcheol cheekily says, as they both walk back to the house. Jeonghan's tired processing all the information, so he gives him a defeated look and shrugs his shoulder. 

'Guess I'am stupid that way.' He admits, with his eyes trained on the way his feet emerges from sand with every step he takes. 

'You are. But you are kind and knowledgeable.' 

Seungcheol throws him a sincere look and Jeonghan breaks the building tension with an awkward chuckle. 'You just agreed that I'am stupid.' 

'I can't disagree to that because, you disregard words and requests when you fix yourself upon something. Don't be like that.' 

Jeonghan shakes his head with a small smile. 'Yeah, I was too fixed. Legit didn't see your wife around and was so convinced that you were married with a child.' 

Seungcheol chuckles once again. 'I'm single, very much. Not even seeing anyone at the moment.' 

'Uh-huh.' 

'Just that _uh-huh?_ Nothing else?' The prosecutor steps a little forward but Jeonghan pretends to look elsewhere. He maybe stupid enough to believe things with l opposing signs as obvious as a dancing balloon existing in front of him but he's not dumb to not understand the implications made by Seungcheol.

Jeonghan knows his inner self would be rejoicing learning the fact that Seungcheol is not a married man, but that doesn't mean he would jump at it when the opportunity neatly presents itself to him. Seungcheol might want to try it out- but after today's turn of events, he figures it is not simple anymore. There's no logical explanation behind this feeling. 

'No, nothing.' 

'You are thinking too deeply and I'am not liking it.' Seungcheol said. 'Please be open with me. Tell me what's in your mind.'

He wants to ask why he was rejected five years ago. He told he's not interested but some how it feels like it's not all to it. Knowing Seungcheol, it could be just that, because the man is always forward and transparent with his needs and desires. 

'Hmmm...can we save this conversation for some other time. I'm really too tired to think.' He said, looking at Seungcheol. The other levels a look of resignation and throws a hand over his shoulder. 

'You can't keep running away from me, Jeonghan. We really should talk, tomorrow at all cost, we must.' 

Jeonghan nods. 'I will not run away, don't worry.' 

Jeonghan the next day however, considers packing up and running away before someone could catch the sight of him, particularly Choi Seungcheol. The idea of confrontation wakes the internal panic and he tries his best not to freak out. Like there's no reason for him to run away from this and it's driving him crazy. 

He likes Seungcheol, no doubt about that. He longed to be with him but now that he's single, he should be happy that he has a chance with him now. 

_"I-I..."_

_Seungcheol looked at him with his head cocked to match the level of his eyes. "Yeah?" _

_"Would you like to have coffee with me sometime?" _

_Jeonghan blurted out the request and messily wanted to take that back and put it in a pretty fancy way he practiced all night. He couldn't breath and felt the way his neck began to grow hot and the mess of a pink on his face was apparent even to himself._

_Seungcheol smiled._

_"I-no, Jeonghan, not at the moment. I really can't now, but-"_

_"Hey, that's okay." Jeonghan raised his hands in a manner to say it was okay. "Chill, I just wanted to hang out nothing more, probably a little more than that-but okay, I guess. See you around."_

Jeonghan didn't feel the hurt but it made him not wanting to get into a relationship for foreseeable future. The disrespect he received from his family members fueled that and he knows Seungcheol must have heard them talking ill about him. Jeonghan rubbed his face in frustration. He likes Seungcheol too much that confronting him about whatever he feels...

Was Seungcheol able to see through him?

'I can hear your brain over working and it is noisy.' Yoona says and Jeonghan flinched at her silent voice, not expecting her to stand there at his door like a ghost. 

'I shouldn't have made it to your wedding!' Jeonghan exasperates and Yoona pinches his cheeks. 

'I cornered you with the Choi Seungcheol and you fell right into the very same trap. It was too entertaining.' 

'You little bitch!' Jeonghan soared. 'Why the hell didn't you tell me that Seungcheol is not married!' 

Yoona snorted. 'Well, I thought you'd find out on your own. I didn't want to make you feel like a dumb bitch.' 

'Just say you wanted Seungcheol to clown me and make me run like a blushing maiden upon witnessing a naked man!' He cornered her, utterly irritated by his cousin's attitude. 

'That's a detailed analogy, but hey, now is the right time to score Seungcheol if you are into him, which I know very well you are. So drop your curtains and talk to him. He's sulking like a five year old, downstairs.' 

Jeonghan imagines a cute Seungcheol pouting and he shakes his head to dissolve the image. 

'Seriously, what's stopping you at the moment?' Yoona asked with her hands folded. 

'He rejected me the first time. What if he rejects me now as well? It's already awkward and I don't want to run at the sight of him in future.' Jeonghan said in a small voice and Yoona embraced him in a comfortable hug. 

'Aunt wasn't lying when she said she had to hide men from you. Look at your face, I, Im Yoona is jealous of your golden proportion.' 

Jeonghan smiled into her shoulder. 'I have a tacky heart.'

'That's a lovable part of yourself.' Yoona said. 'Go meet Seungcheol. He has the answers for all of your doubts.' 

Jeonghan sucked in a deep breath, releasing himself from her frail hold. 'I really like him. I like him and I hate him for that, for making me feel this way. It has been just four days and I'm already feeling this way. Is it even possible?' 

Yoona chuckled for a brief moment. 'Falling in love takes only eight seconds. You took four days and five summers.' 

'Whose fault is that?'

'Maybe you can find out when you go meet him. God, Jeonghan, don't make me keep repeating myself. Just go already.'

Jeonghan didn't want to go up there. What he learnt about Seungkwan, the tragedy that caused Seungcheol to take up a great responsibility made Jeonghan immensely respect the man more than anything in this world. 

Which is why, he decided to be more open with him. Being frank about his feelings and reverently withdraw from all of this chaos could do both a greater good. The moment he stepped downstairs, he could feel Seungcheol's eyes on him before he could find the other's. 

The day is breezy and blue; the curtains erratically moving and everything looks beautiful with Seungcheol in the scene. 

Jeonghan groans internally. He's a goner for this man. 

'Did you sleep well?' Seungcheol smiles like the sunrise itself and the writer could do nothing but merely blink.

'I didn't' He decides to be honest for once. 'All because of you.' 

He expected Seungcheol to be concerned, or at least be weirded out by the confession. But then a bright grin germinates and blooms to full blown wide smile that had Jeonghan's heart stuttering in his chest. 

'Good. Because I couldn't sleep because of you. Not when you left me hanging when I had the words resting on the tip of my tongue.' 

Jeonghan ducked down his head to hide the signs of rushing blood flow to his cheeks. He doesn't want to assume things beforehand but he couldn't help but hang on to the tiny bit of hope that was born at the implications of his words. 

'What do you want to tell me?' 

Seungcheol looked into his eyes and suddenly the smile vanished, replaced by a look of earnest something. 

'What do you think of me?' 

Jeonghan made a noise of amusement, momentarily looking else where before returning the gaze to break the palpable tension. 'I think of many things associated with you, Seungcheol. You are good, kind, responsible and I started liking you even-' 

'Me too.' 

'What?' 

Seungcheol inched closer and held both of his hands. 'I started liking you, even before I could fully understand you- and when I fully got to know you, I almost went crazy. I began to like you even more than before. "Is it possible?" I asked myself.' 

Jeonghan couldn't believe his own ears. Isn't that what he thought, few moments ago?

'Then I realized, not everyone can make me feel like that....' 

Seungcheol trails off, stepping a little closer. 

Jeonghan moved back, instinctively. 'I thought you will say "no" to me again. I'm still the same Jeonghan, the one you rejected five summers ago. Nothing has changed.

Seungcheol simply smiled.


	4. chapter 4

_Seungcheol_ _knew he's committing the ultimate mistake of choosing to stay over at Yoona's home town. He shouldn't have given into those miserable look of her eyes, because his presence is going to make her even more sad. _

_Yoona had been her best friend for long, since high school. She's pretty, funny, smart and most importantly doesn't know how to act demure and express feminine ways of living which kind of made Seungcheol not feel like his immediate friend is someone who's different from him, biologically. He grew very much comfortable with her. Sharing lunch, having sleep overs- and that of course lead to some serious speculations. _

_That didn't affect Seungcheol, because he saw Yoona more as a friend and a fellow partner in crime. _

_Except, Yoona began to have different thoughts on him. _

_He really didn't notice the way her attitude changed towards him and he brushed it off as his own weird imaginations. They both never bothered to deny the rumors of them getting together but she had her own ways of expressing distaste over the idea, which most of the time had Seungcheol doubling over in laughter. That however changed when she began to accept those words with a small smile. _

_Despite spotting those signs, Seungcheol was afraid of making a confrontation because he didn't want to lose their friendship over something that's petty and insignificant. _

_The elephant in the room, was finally addressed when Yoona made a not so shocking confession. _

_"I wonder what it would feel like if we start dating..."_

_The words were light hearted but her nervous lip bite and shaking eyes betrayed the nervousness snap shooting her veins. Seungcheol wordlessly engulfed her into his comfortable hug and whispered a "sorry" into her hair. _

_Yoona brushed those words and the whole of the incident with her mega watt smile, but Seungcheol could easily see how the curve of her lips didn't reach those eyes. He predicted that further probing the issue would leave her squirming in discomfort and that acting casual would what get both of them out of the embarrassing situation. _

_"Our family is getting together for my aunt and uncle's 40th wedding anniversary. Why don't you come?"_

_Seungcheol really wanted to stay in the city and start his internship. Law school is having his head and he couldn't afford to get distracted. But he knows, if he declines the offer, Yoona would assume that he's avoiding her. With much confusion and chaos, he managed to nod with a brief smile and she smiled again, like those old times. _

_What he didn't expect out of his visit to the small town is to stumble upon a pretty looking man sitting in a hammock swing, appearing distracted and lost in his thoughts. _

_Seungcheol isn't the one to explore the house and get oneself comfortable in a foreign place but right from morning, he's been feeling so restless that he wanted to run into a solid wall. Climbing up the stairs did him good and witnessing the breathtaking man made his day. _

_The law student immediately hid behind the walls when the boy in the hammock swiveled a little. He clutched his chest and bit his lips to resist the urge to grin like a mad man. _

_Acting giddy over someone at first look just because they are pretty must be something that should have been abandoned in high school. Seungcheol knew that and he clearly deemed it as not some instant crush. _

_It is the kind of feel, where you are drawn to someone and unable to take your eyes off them._

_Getting to know more about the boy was a herculean task since none of the family members appeared to be fond of him. It really hurt Seungcheol when he learned the reason. _

_He wanted to put that aside and approach the boy, but the pretty boy was not relenting. _

_The positive outcome was, Seungcheol knew that he caught the other's attention. One morning, he was scrolling through the phone and he looked up just to catch the boy averting his eyes, elsewhere away from him. He nonchalantly moved passed him and Seungcheol found his heart rejoicing at that. _

_It took him exactly three days to get the boy's name. _

_Yoon Jeonghan. A beautiful name for a spectacular piece of a human species. _

_He had been able to observe Jeonghan in his absolute silence. No word from him. He looked incredibly constricted near his family members and Seungcheol had developed the idea of eloping with him from there more than once. But that just remained as a far fetched thought. Yoona seemed to be the only one who took him under her wings and he couldn't be more thankful. _

_The first time they interacted was, during the time of a thunderstorm. It was very uncharacteristic of summer season, Seungcheol enjoyed it, nonetheless. _

_The boy-Yoon Jeonghan- was looking like he finally found his peace, pen and a small book clutched in his hand and his soulful gaze capturing every second of the pit pattering rain. _

_"Have you read Sophie Werd's books?"_

_Seungcheol has no time for fiction. Instead of saying that, Seungcheol sheepishly scratched his head. "Uhm, I don't know her."_

_"Oh, that's a petty" Jeonghan said. "You remind me a character from one of her stories."_

_"Which book and what character?"_

_Jeonghan chuckled mildly at his enthusiasm and the thunder clapped at the same time, painting the man in beautiful colors._

"_It is TO MY LOVE, and as for the character, shouldn't you read and figure it out?"_

_That night, Seungcheol was smiling so hard as he placed an online order for the book. _

_Seungcheol was not expecting things to go the way it turned out. _

_Jeonghan had casually asked him out, with no ounce of bashfulness. It was really attractive, and Seungcheol wanted to scream "yes" more than thousand times, shouting so that the whole world could hear him, but he really didn't want one person to hear that. _

_Im Yoona._

_The girl was standing- hiding herself behind the wall but Seungcheol easily caught her by spotting her shadow. Bitterness consumed him immediately. He could agree to Jeonghan's proposal and see how their relationship would progress but that also means that he's leaving Yoona with her wounds unattended._

_Flaunting his man before someone whom he had rejected could be rightly named as a douche move and Seungcheol never in his dreams wanted to hurt Yoona, because, no matter what, she's still his best friend. But at the same time, Yoon Jeonghan is different, someone who was able to pull him, draw his attention and make him suffer his absence from mere three days association. _

_Probably it is not that deep?_

_He asked himself that. The instantaneous reply was , "No, I still wanted him" but-_

_"I-No, Jeonghan, not at the moment. I really can't-"_

_but, I wanted to go out with you, in future. I hope you can give me sometime. _

_That's what he wanted to say, but Jeonghan cut him in the middle, eyes heavy with hurt and lips curled with a beautiful fake smile. Tears are less sadder compared to them. Seungcheol wanted to grab the disappearing form, but he let him slip through his fingers like summer winds breezing past the narrow gaps of petals. _

_He wanted to make up, steer away those negative thoughts and assure Jeonghan, that he indeed, liked him. But just in a day's time, everything changed. _

_Seungcheol was not there, but from Yoona he heard that the family had badly humiliated the boy for his life choices and had him pack away his belongings and leave to the city well in advance. _

_He had never regretted postponing anything in his life, but that day, he wished he had thought twice before deciding on the buffering time he deemed they both would required before further interaction. _

_Seungcheol left to the city with a lame excuse and Yoona was never the one to let go of issues, just like that. _

_"You like him, right?"_

_He didn't have to say anything. Yoona understood him perfectly and gave him an encouraging pat on his shoulder. She probably knows why he had rejected Jeonghan in the first place. Yoona is brilliant like that. _

_'I'll see you in Seoul."_

_Two days later, he received a package from the online book store and he was holding the "To my love" written by Sophie Werd's. His law books lied scattered as he busied himself with the fictional piece. He moved only for the purposes of filling his stomach and flicking the lights on as afternoons passed by. _

_Half way through, he began to question himself whether Jeonghan saw him as David. He really felt the comparison was not right, unjustified even. David literally is a person with no backbone. Followed everything he was asked to do, so desperate to satisfy others and the way Sophie had romanticized the adjustment one needs to make in order to live a perfect life had him wanting to retch out his stomach contents. _

_With that book, he kind of understood in what state of mind Jeonghan was in._

_Jeonghan has chalked him up as someone who is way too perfect, untouchable and out of his league and if he's not wrong, he must have developed a form of detest towards that kind of people. _

_Seungcheol shook his head as he threw the book to the corner. _

_It stayed there for several summers, winters, and collected dust. _

_Seungcheol's way to his job wasn't easy. He had met dead ends, skipped comfort zones and barged in through hell holes to seat himself as a prosecutor in a very reputed Law firm. Yoona had skipped the whole law thing and started a business of her own, which till date infuriates Seungcheol. But that has been her decision and he had kindly seen her through her struggles, her success, her meet with Changmin and the beginning of their never ending love story. _

_He was happy that his best friend found her true love. _

_A corner of his heart however reminded him of his own status. Sometimes he had wished his parents were as nonchalant and unkind as Jeonghan's parents. Their incessant efforts to set him up with a girl or boy got him irritated that he legit called up and asked them to stay idle for a year or two, which they thankfully relented to. _

_Offers to date piled up at his feet but his heart still called out for one name of a person who on a summer was busy day dreaming on a hammock swing. _

_His brother's tragic accident left a huge dent in his well being. Seungcheol understood the real meaning of suffering and despair when he was counting the moments he had with his dear brother. He felt like the world was closing him on all sides and then, he found solace in the book "The unavoidable" written by Jeonghan. The story focused on a character fighting his way out of isolation, who gets ostracized for a rare disease. The character dies a happy man and Seungcheol feared he'd be crying at the end of the story but then, he didn't. It was refreshing, to see the man having no regrets, accepting his fate and not giving in to the dark thoughts that once consumed him as a whole._

_Taking up a six month old Seungkwan and a new job at hand, Seungcheol began to work his way through all the odds against him._

_More than ever before, he felt the need to find and meet Jeonghan. The muted urge came back full force that it utterly beheaded the resignation he felt once and the tendency to leave the work in fate's hands._

_Three years, he spent searching for the man, up and down all territories. Books after books were published and those were the only things he could trace out related to Jeonghan without much difficulty. He never gave up, however. _

_His build of profile and reputation, earned him certain privileges which included pulling his strings to find the address of one Yoon Jeonghan. Yoona had previously told him that he cut contact with all of his family members, but he's a famous writer now which means he could get any information from his publishing company except he had to overcome the uphill job of convincing those people to share his details with him. _

_Breaching K publishing company was difficult and he had to spend thousands to get the information from an insider and he had Yoona send the invitation to him. It was a good thing that his best friend decided to marry. Imagine the discomfort he had to be in to explain Jeonghan why he wanted to contact him. _

_And when Jeonghan came with a blonde hair and eyes flooded with maturity, Seungcheol was a goner already. _

_Seeing Seungkwan so carefree with the man knocked him out of the breath and his deluded self began to imagine a future with the man. _

'I never not wanted to go out with you. You had me waiting for you, Jeonghan.' Seungcheol said, garnering Jeonghan's reaction. The writer seemed like he couldn't believe those words which made Seungcheol crack a smile of pain. 

'I searched you for up and down the city, Jeonghan. Don't give me that look, please.' 

Jeonghan came closer to him and Seungcheol had to control the soaring urge to scoop the man up in his arms and press kisses to his face, to prove how much he means to him. 

'I still can't believe that you like me ....in that way.' 

'Good.' Seungcheol cupped Jeonghan's face so that he won't look at anywhere else, other than him. 'Because I don't want you to get convinced like that. Give me a tough run, let me madly chase you, but also don't say no when I ask you to be my boyfriend.' 

Something sparkled in Jeonghan's eyes and Seungcheol wanted to capture them and keep it for his eyes only. 

'What if I say no to you?' 

'Will you?' 

Jeonghan shook his head, biting his lips to suppress the smile. 'Nope.' 

Seungcheol didn't know what to make of the conversation they had earlier. And he's got no time to ponder on as the wedding preparations are in a full swing and Yoona looks like she's about to pop a vein anytime now. Unlike Jeonghan, Seungcheol had to actively take part in the arrangements which means he's already sick of the salty air and sound of crashing waves. 

Sea shores are serene and soulful compared to the busy Seoul cities but turns out it can absolutely turn him crazy as well. Court rooms with incessant talking and calling out bull shit had been a game for him but dealing with a half mad bride and her meticulous tendency is-

'Cheol, can you call and check the catering service, please? Thanks!' Yoona is off like a wind and Seungcheol stared at the phone in his hand with an empty head. He had initially suggested her to take up the help of a wedding planner but her overconfident ass had laughed it off saying "who the hell need such assistance anymore?"

He sighed and wished he could pick up a boat and haul himself in the middle of the sea. 

Like a life guard, Jeonghan was found near the shores with his pants folded to knees and Seungkwan carefully ever treading on the wet sands, subtly holding out his arm so Jeonghan could catch him anytime he stumbles. 

Just like that, Seungcheol felt his sour mood getting better and the way the sunshine coloured them-

'Oh my god.' He breathed lowly, feeling like the luckiest person alive. Jeonghan had left him there, with no solid confirmation of their relationship. He had just smiled and spared him a single syllable answer. 

Oh, how he wishes he'd get a direct affirming word from the man. 

Seungkwan giggled loudly as small waves touched his feet and he ran to hug Jeonghan's legs who effortlessly picked him and hoisted up in the air. The scene was too beautiful to break it down with the words and someone had to clear their throat to get Seungcheol's attention from the people he adores.

'I know what you are thinking?' Changmin appears next to him and gives a teasing look. 

'What?' 

'To use my wedding venue as your honeymoon location.' 

'Can't do that. Seungkwan is here.' Seungcheol says, without paying much attention to his words and that elicits a reaction of surprise from Changmin. 

'Woah, dude. I was trying to tease and actually catch you as a blushing mess but here you are totally looking like you would grab your opportunity if not for your pseudo son here!' 

Seungcheol turned to look at Changmin's face and chortled at his comical expression. 'Well, I'll count it as a blessing if I get to have a cup of coffee with him. I'm sure you felt the same way with Yoona.' 

'There was an inordinate amount of fights, alcohol, meds and one night stands before we got together. Yearning was not a concept we both are familiar with.' Changmin said and Seungcheol could see why. 

The couple really are not cut out for melodramatic way of romance. 

'But, why beach wedding, if you are not associating with that kind of dynamics?' He asks Changmin as a huge wave of air smacks his skin hard. Seungcheol feels like he's in dire need of bath. 

'Ask your best friend. I don't know if it's her impulsive decision or it is just convenient for her since it is her home town and all.' Changmin deadpans. 

'Are you complaining?' Seungcheol asked with a raised eyebrow. 

'Nope, never.' 

When he asked Jeonghan to make it difficult for him, he really did mean it. By no means he's a supporter of masochism, but without a perfect chase, the whole courtship process looks pretty dull to him. 

And also, he wants Jeonghan to feel like he's not that easily attainable by everyone, including him. 

'I could seriously injure you for taking me away from the venue.' Yoona mutters her threat with a half exasperated look on her face. Over dramatic demenaour is her style, but today it seems like she really means it. 

'Just chill, you need a break from your overzealous wedding preparation. Changmin is there and everything is almost done. Tomorrow you are going to wake up fresh and get married.' 

Yoona sighs. 'Your babe is staying over for the wedding party.' 

'Jeonghan?' 

Yoona hummed, slipping a small smile.

'Thank lord, I was seriously trying to calm myself from the choices I was about to make.' Seungcheol says with a relieved smile. 

'What do you mean?' Yoona asks, confused. 

'I'm actually taking you to the store where you ordered Changmin's suit. The last time I came here with Jeonghan, he chose one for me but I kind of rejected it because it looked too tacky for a wedding set.' 

Yoona grimaced. 'You sure know how to impress your crush.' 

'I wish I sometimes act with a little bit of thinking beforehand, but I stand by my opinion on the coat. It's fit with so much crystals and shimmery garment that I feel like a male version of disney princess.' Seungcheol complains and Yoona clearly finds amusement in that. 

'Changmin wore a chicken suit on the day he proposed me. Just because I like chicken.' 

Seungcheol makes a mental note to ask "what part of a non-cliche romance is this?" and turns to look at Yoona who's having a dreamy look on her face. 

'I'd wear those all cutesy stuff for him in public but that coat will have me stand out during the ceremony like a fucking lamp post.' He says. 'But hey, I hope at least that will help him see how much I like him.' 

'Our ten years of friendship fell defeated when I discovered your bisexual ass just five years ago.' Yoona says. 'I had no idea you would like my cousin of all people.' 

Seungcheol prays inwardly that she doesn't touch the topic of her brief crush on him. 

'Neither did I.' He said. 'If you haven't invited me to your house, I would still be a loner.' 

He probably is going overboard thinking that without Jeonghan, there is no hope for him regarding relationships, but to an extent it is very true. It is impossible for him to imagine someone in Jeonghan's place. 

He must be aware of the fact that it is not a simple crush anymore, if he's driving to a place to do something he'd prefer not to do in a century just for a wide smile he'd see on someone's face, is anything to go by. 

That someone ought to be very special. 

'Jeonghan is a nice guy.' Yoona starts off with a light note but he knows he's in for a deep conversation. 'He hasn't grasped the concept of living for someone yet so he might be a little closed off, running away from his own feelings and misunderstanding phrases, a lot.' 

'That's an understatement of the year, Yoona. But you know, I won't trade those traits for anything else. He's special that way.' 

'And he needs love, from someone he dearly adores.' She says earnestly that it showcases her in a different light. Yoona didn't look this serious when she announced her engagement- a life changing moment, according to Seungcheol. 

'We are not going to get married next month, Na-yah. I like Jeonghan very much and I hope he still feels the same-' 

'If he asks you to marry him on the spot, won't you relent to it?' She asks with a tone of tease. 

'Fuck yes!' 

Seungcheol didn't see Jeonghan that evening and Seungkwan seems to have time of his life as he had totally stationed at the writer's room with no ounce of care for the adult who brought him to the exotic beach. 

He eyed the coat with cover and sighed at the very thought of having to wear it. Yoona supposes that the material is not that bad and he'd actually look good in it. She's Jeonghan's cousin after all, it is possible to share some weird neurons that contributes to have them some unanimous taste. Where's the lie though, they both at one point liked Seungcheol. 

The prosecutor shivers at his own thought, covering his whole body with sheets as he decides it is best to slip into the slumber. 

He was mad. Very very mad.

The sky's yet to turn blue but the whole family is up, getting prepared for the 7AM wedding and Seungcheol really wants to smack himself and the couple for agreeing to the idea. It was his proposal, after all.

_"Just imagine, you, Yoona and the early sunrise as your background as you both exchange rings"_

He yawns loudly and he's too late to cover it, as the bride in white ascends down the stairs with a thin veil covering her face. Seungcheol is on his feet without him knowing and so are her family members. She's adorned in a white lacy outfit, mermaid bottom and a tight bodice. It really feels like the dress is made for her. 

He just can't believe his best friend is going to be a wife of another man. 

Yoona's father steps up and gently takes her hand, while sharing a small smile. Her mother is subtly wiping tears leaking from her eyes and Seungcheol too, feels a small block lodging in his throat. He hastily grabs a glass of water and drinks it off. 

He badly wishes to catch a moment before the grand event, but she's swarmed by her family members and they slowly move out to board the car to the venue. Changmin's staying in a room near the place of ceremony with his own parents. 

'Ahem.' 

It was Jeonghan. 

Seungcheol swears the man before him is going to be the reason why he'll go insane someday. He's wearing a pale grey suit bordered with intricate designs in black and white. His blonde hair matches the colour of his attire and the mild pink tint on his lips makes him look more ethereal than he already is. 

'I was about to smack you for suggesting the timing of the event.' 

'Same here.' Seungcheol almost says breathlessly, the effect of lack of sleep replaced by sudden sobriety thanks to the epitome of brilliance standing before him. 

'Do that. I'm going to hit the bed as soon as the ceremony gets over.' 

Seungcheol momentarily panics. 'Seungkwan is with you right?' 

Jeonghan blinked. 'Nope. He told me he's going to sleep with you. Where is he now?' 

Seungcheol felt like the world is coming to an end. What is he going to tell his sister in law? That he failed to do the one job he had? 

He expected Jeonghan to have that concerned look on his face, except he's sporting a neutral face and that spectacularly morphs to a look of bubbling amusement followed by a wide smile.

It really took more than ten seconds for Seungcheol to connect the dots and when he did, he lunged for the other's neck and put him in a head lock. Jeonghan giggles and tries to win himself out of the grip and thanks to Seungkwan, he escapes much easily. 

'Dad!' Seungkwan raises his hands up at Seungcheol and the man picks him up with a grunt. It is not as easy as carrying him like back he did. Seungkwan's growing up and none of the people in Choi's household are ready for it. 

'Shall we get going? Yoona wouldn't want us to be late on her special day.' 

Seungcheol nods and bravely reaches for Jeonghan's hands and the latter relents, without recoiling from the touch. It's soft under his calloused hands and he lets his fingers trace drawings in Jeonghan's palm. They both pretend like it's not happening and maintain a normal look but Seungcheol can feel the other man's heart thudding just like his, if the pinkish hue surfacing his cheeks are anything to go by. 


	5. chapter 5

Seungcheol couldn't remember much of the wedding. 

It was beautiful. That much he could gather. 

Changmin and Yoona shared a beautiful moment on a small platform set in the sand. The decorations moved to the dance of the wind waves, but the early morning sunlight painted everything in a aesthetic manner, pulling off the bride's dream wedding like it wasn't hassle at all. Seungcheol believed Yoona deserved that. 

His mind spontaneously sketches out his own preferences in his wedding. 

He sees the big cake being brought to the centre and the coupe slices them with so much joy in the air. 

His lawyer friends would probably want him to have an elite setting, inviting priviliged sector of people. It would definitely be a boring ceremony with guest leaving in the middle and they'd have their honeymoon in a suite in a famous fancy five star hotel in the outskirts of some island. 

Seungcheol believes he wouldn't want that. Jeonghan might establish his preference to aesthetic simple wedding as soon as they get engaged. 

He squirms in his seat belatedly realizing how they have a long way to go. Jeonghan is yet to confirm their relationship and their first date is still due. But his inner mind makes a shocking confession that if Jeonghan agrees, he would totally put a ring on his finger and make him his. It feels like he waited for this moment, forever. 

Five summers ago, he began to like Jeonghan for shallow reasons. Attraction is a first step towards relationship but that is not all about. His words comforted him, even if the writer wasn't personally there for him. When he lost his brother and was consumed by his own darkness, Jeonghan's own call for help and the solution he produced through the plot made him dust his hands off and march towards in the pursuit of the light that'll help him fight his demons.

It came in the form of a small baby his sister in law passed it to him. The small cries and the gratuitous jubilant eyes made him smile despite the lingering sadness in his heart.

He began to see Seungkwan as his own son, and somewhere along Jeonghan became the man he needs to find,love and prioritize. 

Speaking of his little kid-

Seungkwan's sleeping with his lips split apart and a corner of his mouth is already collecting drool. Just as he aims to wipe it of with his thumb, a small kerchief held by Jeonghan does the deed.

The writer smiles at him and Seungcheol can feel the breath knocked out of him.

His blonde hair is positively shining, supported by the orange sunlight and he badly wishes to kiss the man before him. Would Jeonghan mind if he did that?

'You are staring at me.' Jeonghan says and sits next to him. Seungcheol's shy self wants to evade the remark. He's always been the type to not admit affections openly but Jeonghan is slowly making him do things he thought he was incapable of. 

'So?' 

Jeonghan gives him a look of wonder but the subtle smirk betrays his playful side. 'Staring is rude.'

Seungcheol knows he's smiling like a fool in love and the funniest part is that he's not even feeling bothered by it. 

'_Not_ staring at a man like you is a sin.' 

Jeonghan rolls his eyes, acting indifferent and annoyed by the comment but the smooth pink rising in his cheeks gives him away like a lightning in a dark night. Seungcheol feels bad to chuckle at the reaction, but he does it to prove a point. 

'So....when are you getting married, Mr.Choi.?' Jeonghan asks, looking at the couple posing for romantic pics. They both are leaning on each other and Seungcheol for a brief moment wonders if Changmin is falling asleep with his forehead pressed to Yoona's. 

'As soon as my husband to be says okay.' He says, gauging for the writer's reaction, making sure to eye the writer so that he gets _who_ he is talking about. 'What about you, Mr.Yoon?' 

'I'm yet to date the man of my dreams, so I'm putting that on hold.' 

Seungcheol badly wishes that Jeonghan is referring to him. He wants to declare "_it's me. Say that it's me!"_ but he seals his lips shut in the favor of preserving his little to no remaining dignity. He lost half of them with his cheesiness. 

'Oh, have you told him that you wanted to go out with him?' Seungcheol raises the bait with an inquisitive note, hoping that Jeonghan will somewhat insinuate his idea of wanting to date him...... or not.

'I told, five years ago.' 

Ouch. Seungcheol knows he hasn't properly explained the writer why he wasn't open to the idea of going out with him. The last thing he wanted was to see Jeonghan getting ostracized by Yoona as well. 

'And?' 

Jeonghan looks at him directly in the eyes and Seungcheol kind of leans in on his own accord. He sobers up half way and mentally chastises him for acting like that. 

'He said no. He's too perfect for me.' 

They both get distracted by the booming laughter sound from the other side, thanks to Yoona and her bridesmaids. Seungcheol doesn't regrets turning down Jeonghan that day. The wait for him was hurtful, beautiful, eyeopening in a way.

If he had agreed to him, it would have been regular and ordinary. Learning about Jeonghan through his own writings, yearning for him with an oasis of own difficulties stagnant before him, sailing million seas across to catch a speck of news related to the man and most importantly, the way he's making it difficult to give in to him, makes it all the more memorable. 

'He had his own reasons, I believe. From what I know, he dearly likes you.' 

Seungcheol feels like he's baring his heart before him on a silver platter, hoping Jeonghan takes it with no qualms. 

The writer simply chuckles, amplifying his nervousness tenfold. 'As a friend, nothing more than that.' 

'Jeonghan.' He asserts his intention with a hint of desperation. 'Which part of my heartfelt confession you were unable to process?'

'I want to know why I was not given the green signal, five years ago.' Jeonghan shrugs a little stiffly, minding the tone of his voice. 'Is that too much to ask?' 

Seungcheol sees where he is coming from and doesn't mind to be honest this one time. If his rapport with Yoona is in the way of getting across to Jeonghan, then to hell with it. 

'Your cousin, Im Yoona- my best friend.... liked me, like some six years ago' 

The reaction Jeonghan gave in a span of three seconds amused Seungcheol greatly. His stomach went concave and his chest rattled at the signs of an obnoxious laugh but he swallowed the urge knowing how shocking it must have been to Jeonghan.

'Well you see, we've been friends for too long and the idea of dating Yoona didn't sit well with me. Trust me when I say she's gorgeous and smart- Seungcheol swallows, wondering if he went too much admiring her in front of someone he's coercing into dating him. 'But, she was my best friend. Still she is and I never saw her in that kind of _romantic_ light. I eventually had to say no to her.' 

Jeonghan nods, face a little pale and pupils expanded. Seungcheol, for a measure of guarantee, extends his arm out to rub the writer's hand placed atop his crossed legs. The sunshine is generously poured upon them, and the golden light casts Jeonghan with illuminating white veil of brilliance. 

'Did you like her? Even for a bit?' 

Seungcheol crumbles at the doubt in the other's eyes. 'Never. She's perfect by all means, but never was one for me.' 

Jeonghan sighs and looks at the sea waves crashing far away. He couldn't decipher what's going on inside of his pretty mind and hopes it is not a bout of another misunderstanding. 

'She asked me to come here.' He continues in a small voice. 'It was very much awkward for us, but I wasn't willing to break our decade old friendship for something as menial as this. So I agreed to her and...' He looks up at Jeonghan. 'I saw you.' 

Jeonghan sucks in a breath and it was audible to Seungcheol, despite the noisy background. 

'I was enamored, to say the least. Everything you did, every word you wished not to share loudly was expressed by your eyes and I read them like it was my favorite book.' 

Seungcheol smiles at the pleasant wonder of moments, counting the memories like preciously protected pennies. 'It was difficult to say no to you. I was not expecting you to come forward. You literally ambushed me with your cute confession.' 

Jeonghan chuckled shyly, not meeting Seungcheol's eyes. 'I prepared a much cooler version but my brain malfunctioned and I forgot everything I planned. Thankfully, I didn't blurt out those three words to you.' 

Something electric struck Seungcheol's heart and he felt giddy at the prospect. 'Guess you have a chance now, Jeonghan. So, as I was saying, I know Yoona won't be very much comfortable seeing me date someone. The feelings linger, after all.' 

'Sounds like something you will do, Seungcheol.' 

'Yeah?'

Jeonghan wordlessly gets on his feet and takes Seungkwan from the elder. The boy is still asleep, and shrinks himself in Jeonghan's hold until he settles comfortably in the adult's arms. Seungcheol, still in need of answers, stumbles a little. The sight of the man he likes carrying the precious light of his life melts Seungcheol's heart like a patch of wax getting liquefied under warm sunlight. 

'Let's put him to sleep in my room. He's perspiring a lot already.' 

Seungcheol nods and winces at the way Jeonghan grunts while carrying Seungkwan, obviously not used to the weight of a healthy five year old. 

The walk towards the building was silent. Seungcheol gets lost in his thoughts when Jeonghan prompts him to continue the conversation. 

'I didn't want Yoona to dislike you. She was the only connection between you and your family members. I don't want to take that away.' 

Jeonghan's steps momentarily halts at the confession, before he proceeds to walk quickly, having Seungcheol to follow him in a slow jog. Million thoughts ran mile a minute inside of his head. 

_Did he upset Jeonghan by saying that?_

_Is he being too presumptuous at the moment?_

Despite the internal commotion, he maintained his exterior with a look of calmness coated with confidence. A confession must always possess a generous tone of affirmation. If he looks doubtful, then the message he wants to pass across might not land with the exact intent, 

Jeonghan is quick on his feet, as he climbs the steps with ragged breath- almost sighing in relief as he spots his bedroom door. Seungcheol intersected his path to help him open the door. 

The writer swiftly, carefully, helped Seungkwan on the mattress. Switching on the Air conditioner, he covered up Seungkwan with the sheets, patting at the sides for a good measure. Seungcheol couldn't remember the time someone other than his family members, meticulously taking care of the boy. 

It's just ten in the morning, and Seungcheol felt his heart stuttering because of the man for more than hundred times already. He sighs inaudibly, controlling his grin. 

Jeonghan fails to settle until he drapes the windows with curtains and only then, he turns to look at Seungcheol. He advances and takes his wrist in a loose hold, marching off the room before leaving the door closed with a soft click. 

Seungcheol's clouded with confusion, anticipation, hope and a little bit of fondness. He's been longing for the moment- all the failed search attempts, the pain of reading the book again and again but finding nothing close to the man other than a parched set of papers. 

Contacting the insider of the company was his last resort and Yoona's wedding came like a summer evening rain: As a surprise and as a blessing. 

And he managed to get Jeonghan, before him. 

The sliding sound of balcony door snaps him out of his retrospection, and he rattles the swing hammock on his way by nudging it with his arms. Jeonghan comes to a stop and let his hands off, staring at him back with emotions over flooding his eyes. 

'You did that...because you didn't want Yoona to stop talking to me?' 

The words come out as a hushed whisper and Seungcheol is troubled by the lack of sound. Nonetheless he catches the words very well. 

'I did.' He nods. 'And when I learnt that Yoona never minded us going out together, I felt pretty bummed.' 

He didn't expect Jeonghan to capture him in a wholesome hug. The scent of sweet fruits, spice and lavender conquers his olfactory sense, spreading into his lungs and inflating it with utter fondness. Jeonghan feels like a strong porcelain in his hold and Seungcheol nuzzles his nose to his temple to feel the contact, extra more. 

Seungcheol hugs back with more tightness, crushing the man almost. He hopes the other doesn't mind. 

'I-I was thinking that you didn't like me and I couldn't believe what you said yesterday.' Jeonghan mumbles into his shoulder. 'These five years, I was unable to look at anyone properly. I couldn't bring myself to like anyone. I was frustrated and poured my feelings into several books-' 

'And I read every single one of them.' Seungcheol said. 'My nights and days, when I was sad and happy, burdened by work and proceedings, you had my back with your words.' 

The sea shore wind salts their skin but _that_, feels good with Jeonghan pressed close to his chest. 

He sneaked his hand in to have Jeonghan look up at him. His eyes are glazed with tears and if he looks closely, he could see his own reflection. 

'You said, five years ago, that I reminded you of David.' Seungcheol chuckled, holding Jeonghan's face delicately with his hands. 'And you couldn't be more wrong. I'm not and never will be the David to your barn girl.' 

Jeonghan blinked and the stagnant droplets of tears staggered down his cheeks. Seungcheol wiped them away before it could reach his chin. 

'He's a perfect man, I'm not and I never will be. The path I chose- this gold collar job and the life style is something I _desired_. No one forced me into doing it. I'm just the way you are- following my heart, _including you_.' 

Jeonghan sniffed, trying not to show his weakness. He said, 'A few years ago, I had a friend. He was dear to me, but he left in the middle knowing I like men. It hurt me a lot. I wrote _"The un-avoidables"_. You can't avoid what you fear.' He exhaled mildly. 'And I ran away from you, after five years in the fear of falling for you again. The apprehension drove me crazy.' 

'But then my best friend told me that I should love you with all my heart without holding back. Because if that's what my heart what wants, then I shouldn't deny it.' 

Seungcheol's ears are ringing in a bout of happiness and anticipation. 

'I berated myself for loving someone I couldn't be with and then you- you came to me.'

Unable to bear anymore, Seungcheol leaned down to capture Jeonghan's lips in a soft kiss. He tasted tears, tremble of a sob and a stretch of smile that instigated a sharp jolt of electricity from within. It wasn't anything like he imagined. 

His fantasies always found him kissing Jeonghan in rain or at afternoon amusement park date. Not this way : against the sticky air of sea shore, sound of crashing waves harmonizing with the beat of his thudding heart. 

This in fact exceedes his expectation, having Jeonghan more open, vulnerable with his emotions and his admission of what he feels for him without masking it further. 

Jeonghan responds a second later, pouting his lips to reciprocate. Seungcheol felt his heart fluttering at the gesture, his hands descending down to entwine around the writer's waist to bring him much closer. The kiss was kept innocent, unable to see anything behind the opaque veil of healed wounds, longing and love for one another. 

The time they took to learn each other was insufficient. Nothing spectacular was discovered from each side, but neither of them wouldn't want anyone else in each other's place. 

Seungcheol yearned for the soft touch of lips as soon as Jeonghan parted the contact they had. His eyes are mellow and glassy which is gaining a small spot of shine from the tremendous pouring of sunlight. 

It's itching in him to lean down one more time and prove in action how much he adores Jeonghan. Instead, he settles to hug the man more and Jeonghan relents with a shy smile. 

Against the rising sunshine, they stood finding answers in each other's hearts. 

* * *

The evening, Jeonghan felt restless. 

In a hour or so, he should start preparing for the wedding party but- _He groans at the multitude of feels that hits him right in the guts._

Seungcheol is not a father of a kid, he's not married and is very much fond of Jeonghan- in a romantic sense. The man himself explicitly admitted that and Jeonghan-he, he feels like it's all a part of a beautifully arranged elaborate dream.

His mind rewinds back to Seungkwan's story and wonders what it would be his state if he had lost his father in a young age and was brought up by someone who is not as responsible as Seungcheol. What would be his state if he had lost his mother? Would he be the person he is now? Clearly not. 

His parents weren't the best of the people. Their harsh words, their meaningless bite at him and uncorroborated tendencies left him in despair at very early stage of adulthood. It was difficult for him, he's not going to lie. 

Jeonghan became a babysitter to meet his monthly expenses and began to polish his skills in writing with a new found determination. Supporting himself in an unknown city wasn't easy for him and in one way or the other, his parents have influenced him in doing so.

He rolls out of his bed and adjusts his hair as he descends downstairs. The touch of his strands reminds him of the time his mother severely objected him to growing his hair out long and colouring it to a moderate purple. He smiles at the memory of him crouched underneath his bed and crying at the crude words. 

As someone said, today's wounds will become a subject of amusement in the future. 

He finds his parents in the living room, looking tired admist the chattering noises in the background. Thankfully none of the others are near them, which means Jeonghan can get some necessary private space. The urge to climb back and save himself from further humiliation is heavy, but he feels like he should get it done. 

No one knows what will happen in the next moment and he doesn't want to have any regrets. After all, they are the ones who brought him to this world. 

'Mom, Dad.' Jeonghan's own voice sounded foreign to him. 'Can I have a moment to talk to you both?' 

Aged up and eyes cold as polar winds, the old couple looked up at him with subdued anger and plain indifference. It hurts Jeonghan to even witness it. 

'We really don't have anything to say.' His mother says, not meeting his eyes. The old man's jaws are gritted and he appears to be holding himself back from right out cussing at his own son. 

Jeonghan swallows the sob that's building up in his throat. He never can hate them or act like he doesn't belong with them. The built up rage due to the reasons he was hated on clouded his skill to think a little further than what was at his hands. 

'But I do.' He says, his hands fiddling aimlessly. 'I have a lot to say. I want to tell everything I did in the time I stayed away from you all.' 

Jeonghan's periphery of vision catches Seungcheol in the scene but he doesn't mention anything about it. It's okay if he's here. His life experience with Seungkwan what opened his eyes. He doesn't want to hide anything from anyone, anymore. 

'You left this house insinuating that you don't belong with us anymore. No son of mine fails to with hold the reputation of the family.' His father's baritone declaration instigates a downpour of emotions from his within. 

'I-I never stole anyone's property, every single penny I earned, I was very happy with it. I loved what I did and I'm loving every single word I write for my readers. How can _that_ be something I should be ashamed of?' 

Mr.Yoon got on his feet, possessed by a fiery rage. 'Will your job come to the standard of a doctor, lawyer or an engineer? Do you deal with numbers? Nope! You don't! How can I go around saying that my son is a mere writer? Also, I wished to have a daughter in law and grand children from you, but look at you-'

Jeonghan was not able to hear the rest of it as a hand dragged him away from the spot. His father was immediately silenced when an unexpected guest made himself known as a defender of the accused. 

Too shocked to act on his own, Jeonghan clutched on to Seungcheol's back, tears freely flowing down his cheeks. 

'I think the conversation is over, Mr.Yoon.' Seungcheol crisply muttered, hands coming to encompass Jeonghan's waist. 'Since the day belongs to my best friend and that you are the father of someone I adore, I'm letting this go.' 

Jeonghan shivers at the disdain in Seungcheol's voice. He can't imagine getting that directed at him. 

'Are you really taking his side?' 

Seungcheol gives a crude glare at his father. 'Your son made thousands of people's lives better, you can't even make your own son feel good about himself.' 

Jeonghan wished them to not lock horns because of him. He simply pulled Seungcheol away, from that place, belatedly berating him for having this idea in the first place. 

As seconds pass by it dawns on him that Yoona's guests must have seen the ugly incident and he had really ruined her special day by making a splotch of black in joyous vibrant colors. 

'Jeonghan' Seungcheol calls out but the other simply shakes his head, finding solace in the elder's chest. He knows if he opens his mouth, he will break down and that's the last thing he wants to do today. A part of him believes that he's someone brave and not easily moved to tears.

'You don't have to say anything.' Seungcheol said, perfectly understanding Jeonghan. 'But I want to say something.' 

His noisy, self loathing mind comes to a halt, as he tunes his mind in mild anticipation. 

'I can kind of figure out why you wanted to talk to your parents, and I really appreciate you for that. You see, Seungkwan really misses his father but parents aren't the only people responsible for the child's well being.' 

Jeonghan looks up at him questioning and is fazed by the gentle smile thrown at him. He couldn't believe that the person he's looking at is capable of displaying repugnance, which he did, moments ago. 

'In general, good people are what needed by young children, by everyone in this world. That's all matters. If someone can't appreciate you for who you are...' Seungcheol shakes his head. 'Then they don't deserve your respect either.' 

The younger smiled, hugging Seungcheol as he lays his head on the other's shoulder. 'I just feel terrible for spoiling Yoona's day. I shouldn't have chosen this day but I'm not planning to come here ever again so I didn't have a choice.' 

'Really.' Seungcheol says patting his head. 'Good, because I wouldn't advise you to come here as well.' 

The younger sighed. 'I just didn't want to regret missing the opportunity to clear our differences for once and all. Despite my apprehension, I wanted to come forward and talk to them. I did expect it to get backfired, though.' 

Seungcheol gathers him much closer. 

'I'm glad that you came to your hometown, after all these years. I was scared to approach you all by myself and I did so many things to find out where you live.' 

Jeonghan chuckled. 'I personally made sure none of them knew where my house is. I kind of felt the need to do so. Guess I was just that hurt from all those dramatic events in my life.' 

'You should stay for the party.' 

Jeonghan sighed. 'I don't know, Seungcheol. I initially convinced myself to attend it but then...after what happened today, I don't know if I can look at their faces without having their dark words chasing after me.' 

'Look at me, Jeonghan.' 

He lazily craned his neck up, only to meet with orbs that displayed a brilliance of galaxy. 

'You won't be alone there. You will be there with me, I will keep you company and I'm not only talking about the evening....' 

Jeonghan feels like he can hit the bumps with his shields down, as long as Seungcheol has his back. 

_'Woah, Yoon Jeonghan, I never knew this trip to your town will be this eventful. You found yourself someone great, congratulations.' _

Jeonghan smiles but pretends to be not affected by the kind words. 'What are you going on about, Shua? We are just going to see where it goes, not going to marry tomorrow.' 

_'You might as well have. I was seriously thinking for a second if you'd reach Seoul as a married man. The way you speak about him says so.'_

The writer wishes to argue that his assumption is utterly wrong but a defeated sigh escapes past his lips. 'Do you think so?' 

Joshua hums from the other side of the call. '_I wish I was there to see you smile, Han. I really have wanted to see you smile of true happiness.' _

Jeonghan hums. 'You are being cheesy, uncharacteristically.' 

A pregnant pause follows before Joshua says something in a hushed voice. _'Thanks to someone I kind of get what you are feeling.' _

It really takes more than few seconds to figure what the editor's trying to imply. Before Jeonghan can raise any word of bewilderment or utter disbelief, Joshua cuts the dead end with "_I'll tell everything when you reach Seoul."_

Jeonghan looks down at the wallpaper of his phone with his mouth parted and he barks out a laugh in the privacy of his room at what Joshua's intending to tell. His hermit, posh friend has found someone for himself. 

It's mid summer but he feels like Christmas is already here.

The evening arrives, which means the party is around the corner. He can hear people leaving to the venue one by one in their cars and he knows he's the last one going to leave the house. 

He already had packed his bags and tucked behind the doors. He wishes to reach Seoul by at least tomorrow afternoon.

Jeonghan takes a look at himself in mirror and cringes slightly at his over exposed torso. He's wearing the same shirt Mingyu kindly commented at "I can see the whole world through this"

It's a night of celebration and he wants to don a special look. Not that it's the only shirt he has carried, but he sure well knows that if anything could flatter his slim and sleek body, it could be the fabric he's holding now. He tosses away the towel around his hips and maneuvers himself into the shirt and blushes slightly at the way his pale skin is appearing all too well from behind the semi transparent veil of a cloth. 

He shrugs and does his hair, ans slips in a slim black shiny blazer. He nods to himself at his reflection in approval and casually gets downstairs hoping that he doesn't have to run into his parents. 

Usually he'd get aggravated by their unfair treatment, but after what happened few hours ago, his heart numbed for better and he has grown to feel plain resentment and acceptance of their improper life motto. 

To his pleasure, he was met with an empty house, except a shattering high pitch noise played his eardrums. Shaking his head and almost making a correct guess on the source of sound, Jeonghan promptly knocks Seungcheol's door. He opens it to find a wet Seungkwan fresh from shower dancing about the expanse of bed and a tired Seungcheol trying to catch the boy with towel opened in his hold. 

Seungcheol is still in his shirt from the morning, hair ruffled up to a good measure and a smile of relief mixed with pure fascination adorning his face.

'Look at you.' Is what all Seungcheol says and Jeonghan feels like a spark smacking the bottom of his spine at the comment. 

Jeonghan deliberately ignores the adult as he proceeds to extend his arm out for Seungkwan. The five year old rolls and barrels into his embrace, affectionately smothering him with kisses. Jeonghan wonders from where the boy caught this ritual. 

'You are going to spoil his outfit, Kwannie.' Seungcheol softly calls out and Jeonghan shakes his head vigorously. 

'Guess some wet splotches in my blazer won't be that bad.' He says with a smile and motions for Seungcheol to hand him the towel. 

Distracted, Seungkwan stays as he gets dried by Jeonghan, and Seungcheol sneaks up to make him wear the cute baby sized shirts and pants in beige. Jeonghan combs the kid's hair and carries him off the bed when he's all done. 

'We will wait outside.' Jeonghan said and Seungcheol plants a kiss smoothly on his forehead as the former walks out. 

'Thanks Jeonghan.' 

Jeonghan couldn't contain the gasp of shock as he spotted what Seungcheol was wearing. It appeared irrelevant to the child, but Jeonghan on the other hand felt like he's seeing the man of his dreams coming down to fetch him.

'You-Why are you wearing that?' He points at the same coat which Seungcheol rejected three days ago at Changmin's tux purchasal. To be honest, it didn't look gaudy at all. He was right about the coat, except he's not sure if Seungcheol is doing it out of his own interest. 

'I wanted to kind of impress you, not gonna lie and-' Seungcheol looks down at himself. 'I was pretty whiny the whole ride to the store again but now that I'm wearing, I can see why you liked it so much.' 

Jeonghan shakes his head,still refusing to believe the other. 'Are you really sure about this, because Seungcheol- _you_ don't have to do this. I already like you and-' 

Seungcheol promptly shuts him up by placing a finger to his lips. 'I love it and we are getting late. We've been irresponsible guests so far, and we only have this evening to redeem ourselves.' 

The writer rolls his eyes. 'Come on, I know you are trying to change the topic.' 

'Do I look good in this?' 

'Uhhh..' Jeonghan feels caught off guard by the question. 

'Do I look good in this?' Seungcheol repeats firmly, with a gummy grin that sends Jeonghan weak in his knees. 

'Absolutely.' 

'Do I look good enough to be called as your boyfriend?' Seungcheol pushes his luck and laughs out in a raucous way at Jeonghan's reaction. 

Entirely fluttered and done for the day, Jeonghan catches Seungkwan's hand and nudges Seungcheol pretty badly with his sharp elbow, while on his way to the parking. Still tumbling over in pure amusement, unaffected by the physical strike, Seungcheol follows suit staggeringly, whipping his car keys out when Jeonghan marches to his own vehicle.

'You are lucky that Seungkwan is here, right Kwannie?' 

The boy nods, with no commitment as he's busy toying the remote plane in his hands. 

'I know what would have happened if Seungkwan was not there.' 

Jeonghan catches the drift, except he plays dumb. 'We would have got into the car after you received some punches from me?' 

'Punch me where with what?' 

'_Seungcheol.' _Jeonghan intones and the other mildly chuckles at his own cheesiness. 

'Fine, fine. But don't tell me you have never entertained that thought.' Seungcheol says, as he drives out to the venue of the party. It's located nearby the shore obviously; a good banquet hall with enough space for a garden and a compact place for families to stay by the sea side. Seungcheol loved it and nagged Yoona to book the place. 

'What if I have?' 

'I'm glad that we are on the same page.' 

The exchange was as smooth as figure skating on a sheen of thin ice. 

Jeonghan chuckled, carelessly caressing Seungkwan's baby smooth tuft of hair. 

'What is it?' Seungcheol asks with his eyes on the road. 

'I kind of feel like this wedding is an elaborate play for us to get together, don't you think?' 

Seungcheol hummed with a little smile. 'It could be, given the way how everything came around when I got your contact details. If not for the wedding, I would be at your gates calling out your name.' 

'That'd be a pretty scene though.' Jeonghan admitted. 'And it'd be a cliche reunion and reconciliation. I can see it happening except you are not a_ that David_ anymore.' 

David and the barn girl be damned. Sophie werds was a loser, not knowing that her perspective of reality slipped to a serious case of stereotyping and plain ignorance. Perfection existed in the way you want to craft your life, not meeting up other's expectation. 

'I was seriously sad the moment I realized that you saw me in that character.' 

Jeonghan nodded. 'Hey, how was "_The unavoidables" _though? Was it helpful to you anyway?' 

Seungcheol hums again and Jeonghan finds the action endearing. 'More than that, I recently read your first ever book. I want to tell you a lot about it someday...not now.' 

Jeonghan raised an eyebrow. 'Really? It was a cheesy romance novel. I'm sure a high schooler would be much entertained by the plot than a prosecutor.' 

The car is approaching the venue and a bubble of anxiety creeps up in Jeonghan from the pit of his stomach. He's going to face people again and fall prey to looks of disapproval despite knowing that he's in the right track.

'I'm not a prosecutor 24 hrs a day. And it wasn't just a cheesy novel. I'll save the rest for the other day. Now, wipe off that look of worry. I'm telling you that I'll be here with you until you learn to ward them off with your snarky remarks.' 

Jeonghan exhales. 'The damage is already done, so there's nothing left to be scared of, I guess. It's just that.....I used to love them when I was a kid and it's hard to accept that these people hate me for my job.' 

The vehicle comes to a halt and they get down. 

Seungcheol gently holds out a hand for him and Seungkwan grabs his other hand with an endearing smile. 'Sometimes it's better to leave behind your bitter feelings. The worst happened to you to re-adjust yourself to the passing time. It's more similar to calibration of new systems.' 

Jeonghan dovetailed his fingers with Seungcheol's. 

He's loving the new feeling already. 

Yoona is dressed in a dark navy wear and she looks like Venus herself in that attire. Changmin is no inferior to his spouse's looks. He's equally suited well in black, making him appear as ravishing as any vogue model.

The bride embraces Jeonghan with a huge smile that it weakens Jeonghan's heart immensely. It finally dawns on him that his cousin of same age is a wife of another man and he feels a little emotional at that. 

'I wanted to whoop your ass when I got to know what happened today afternoon.' 

She said with a weak glare and a baby pout. 

'Sorry.' Jeonghan meekly said, holding her hands. 'I apologize for ruining your day.' 

Yoona gracefully smiled, casting a glance at her husband and Seungcheol who are deeply into a playful banter. 'I'm the one who should apologize to you, Jeonghan-ah.'

Jeonghan flinched at the implication but proceeded to feign ignorance. It's not anyone's fault that these things happened. It's in their fate to suffer and yearn for each other all these years before they could have a chance to be together, again. 

'Seungcheol acted in a whim that day and he was just trying to be a good friend of mine. I can very well imagine how much you are going to be happy with him.' 

'Geez, why are you talking like I'm going to get married to him tomorrow. We are not even official yet.' Jeonghan said before smoothly changing the topic. 'When you both are going to take off?' 

'Hmmmm...definitely not before our first dance.' 

'They look cute together, right?' Seungcheol whispered to him and Jeonghan distractedly nodded his head. Yoona and Changmin are waltzing like they practiced the routines for three months straight. 

'Do you think they had some professional teach them the steps?' 

'Obviously.' Seungcheol says with a shake of head. 'It's Yoona we are talking about. She'd go to throes of hell to have everything perfectly arranged.' 

'Changmin seems very passive to me. Like he comes off as a type to relent to everything Yoona says.' Jeonghan offers. 'If he's not like that, then he should learn to be like that at least.' 

'Hey, give that man some credit. He's been dating your cousin for five years roughly, guess he would have figured it out that much.' Seungcheol replied. 

'You are right.' The writer agreed. 'As long as they are happy.' 

'They will be.' Seungcheol said with a faint smile as he clasped his hands with Jeonghan's, underneath the round table. 

Jeonghan takes a look at it and fights an intense urge to smile like a grand fool. 'You've been sitting here with me like for forty five minutes. Shouldn't you go around and meet people?' 

'Do you wanna talk to anybody here?' 

'Not anyone other than you.' 

He wasn't intending to be cheesy, but somehow those words slipped, inevitably inflating Seungcheol's ego. Before the other could say anything, Jeonghan hastily interrupts him.

'Please Cheol, don't ever hold back because of me.' He says in all seriousness. 'The last thing I want to do is restrict your freedom because you are stuck in some sort of obligation to take care of me.' 

'Didn't take you to be a empty head, Jeonghan.' Seungcheol gives him a look of disapproval. 'Which part of me slightly even indicated that I'm holding back for your sake? If anything, I'm holding back from kissing your ethereal face under these beautiful lights.'

Jeonghan's heart rattles at the confession and he quickly makes sure Seungkwan didn't hear any of those. Thankfully, the young kid is interested in playing with an elderly couple from Changmin's family. 

'Hush, Cheol. What if Seungkwan hears?' 

'He'd kiss you on the cheeks as well.' Seungcheol said with a smile that left cute dimples on his cheeks. 

Jeonghan cooed openly as he poked the shallow concavity. Seungcheol scrunched his nose and acted cute, making the other's heart swell with so much fondness. 

The prosecutor gently caught Jeonghan's hands and rubbed his palm. 'Looking out for you will never be an obligation for me. It's from my heart.' 

Seungcheol said with so much sincerity and earnestness that it provoked a million set of questions from Jeonghan. 

'Really why me?' 

Seungcheol raises his eyebrows. 'Why you?' 

Jeonghan hummed, inching closer, chin held buttressed by the heel of his palm. 

'When I first saw you, your appearance attracted me. You legit looked like someone who jumped from skies and usually, it used to be enough of a reason to ask someone out, but then I realized Yoon Jeonghan is not just all about looks.' Seungcheol snaps from his reverie in a second, giving him a goofy smile. 'I'm going to stop on that note before I make a full fledged confession.' 

Jeonghan chuckled, clearly pleased by the reason. 'Aren't you curious as to why I like you?' 

'You can me tell if you want.' 

'Give me six months time.' Jeonghan said with an uncalled confidence in air.

'Why six months though?' 

'Don't ask.' 

The fact that he's about to write a book dedicated to a man whom he has not labelled his relationship yet drives him nuts. With Seungcheol, he feels like he's falling to the deepest depth from a cliff. It's high key adrenaline inducing rush, a pinch of worry and much, much fondness.

A cursory glance at Seungcheol, doesn't help his addled mind and the rolling warm ball of happiness feels foreign, yet welcoming inside of him. 

Few weeks ago, he couldn't explain that emotion. Now **happiness **couldn't be described due to the influx of various sentiments smacking him all at once.

When he settles, distracted by the cute fairy lights and cuter couple of the night, his mind belatedly offers a better term.

_Seungcheol._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im not even sure if this is good to read, sorry.


	6. HAPPY ENDING

Seungcheol swallowed and had retreated for like, five times already.

It's just that, it's too embarrassing to ask Jeonghan for dance, but a part of him wants to make use of this perfect opportunity. 

It's the only event where they could dance after all. He immediately strikes out that notion because dancing to a slow song with arms on each other in his living room, still passes off his terms. To be honest, he'd prefer the latter style more. 

He sweeps his eyes over the crowd to find Seungkwan slouched in a seat between two elders who are desperately trying to entertain the child. Of course, the kid is a sweetheart and smiled politely at every trick thrown at him. He promises to himself that it is going to be the only night he leaves the young kid alone. Seungcheol sees him as his own, after all. 

'Jeonghan.' 

The younger looks at him with questioning eyes. 

'What do you think about dancing with me tonight?' 

The way pink hue powdered his cheeks signaled the elder's success. Jeonghan likes the sound of dancing with him. 

'I can't even dance, Cheol.' 

'We are not going to audition here, and if it helps you any better, I suck at waltzing. One time I tried with someone at an office party and stepped on her twice. She was wearing high heels, poor woman.' 

'So, I should protect my feet from yours?' 

Seungcheol shrugged. 'Don't worry, I'll kiss it better.'

He got shoved hard for the remark and Jeonghan's flustered self never fails to make Seungcheol smile like a mad fool.

Yoona and Changmin are still dancing, and few of the couples he knew simply are rolling around there as an excuse to flirt openly. He's planning to do the same with Jeonghan, so he's exactly not in the place to complain.

'Do I remove my coat?' Jeonghan asked, buttoning down the pretty suit anyways. 

When he shrugged it off his shoulder, Seungcheol felt his mouth go dry. 

Jeonghan very well knows what's going on with Seugcheol and smirks at it. It infuriates the elder even further. 

'You cannot do that.' Seungcheol says, feeling burdened by the explicit display of all the goodness in a sheer shirt. Not all transparent, of course, that'd be plain inappropriate, but the way lace teases him with a hint of skin here and there, pushing him back to the day one- when he saw Jeonghan in a swing hammock looking innocent and alluring at the same time. 

'It's getting stuffy and I don't wanna dance with weight of fabric hanging over my shoulder.' 

Seungcheol chokes at the logic.'It's- It's not some heavy dumb bells, just a coat Jeonghan and you are going to only waltz with me!' 

Jeonghan sighed, looking a little exasperated by the lack of positive response. 'What's the deal with you, Seungcheol?' 

'You-_You-'_

'I _what now?'_

Seungcheol bites his lips, wanting to hole up behind the bushes of the garden at the back side. It sounds very tempting and plausible compared to admitting that he finds Jeonghan _distracting_ in a sensuous way. 

'You are positive that you won't get cold?' 

Jeonghan blinks for a second or two before his lips parts open to a wondrous sound, that is, a set of beautiful giggles. It comes contrasting the attire the man's posing with. 

'Sure...It's a summer night by beach side. Hypothermia is out of the equation.' 

Seungcheol tries to dispose a look of relief but he knows his twitch of lips and quivering flutter of eyes are not near to that. Jeonghan seems to catch on to it and gives a lopsided smirk. 

'We have a child to take care. Let's quickly get done with this over.' 

The elder wordlessly moves to the centre and madly reminds himself that he's not tripping over the quickly blurring boundaries tonight,_ because_ he promised that he'd court Jeonghan properly and with Seungkwan in his sight, he can't act inappropriate with the man of his dreams at the moment. 

Jeonghan slow walked to him and gracefully placed his hands over the shoulder when Seungcheol instinctively held the man close to him by his waist. Up close, the elder could breathe in the faint smell of lavender and swore to himself that the color and fragrance aptly fits the man in his hold.

'It will be difficult for us to move if you are in my space like this, Cheol.' Jeonghan breathed close to his ears and Seungcheol want to press his nose against the soft blonde hair in the man's nape. 

'I don't care.' Seungcheol blurted out before he could think, and cleared his throat awkwardly, using up time to come up with a better explanation. 'I mean, we are not here to see who's better at waltzing around. We aren't pros.' 

Just in that moment, Yoona and Changmin made an elaborate pose and swirled around them, leaving both the men in utter amusement. 

'Seems like we are the only ones on the floor with a different idea.' Jeonghan said, purposefully stepping on Seungcheol's shoes. 

The elder however slips into a trance, as the music fills in muting out all noises of chatter. Just the image of Jeonghan's jubilant face, eyes brimming with mirth and lips gaining gloss from pretty yellow fairy lights, sends him to reverie and his heart instantly fills with gratefulness, that he's finally get to hold the man he dearly _loves._

Without much thought, he leaves a chaste kiss against the seam of Jeonghan's lips. 

Surprised- a little caught off guard by the action, Jeonghan's eyes crinkle to display the absolute bout of bliss, as he throws his head back a little to laugh. 

'Cheol, you are too cute.'

Seungcheol cocks his head. 'Am I?' 

Jeonghan nods his head with much conviction. 'I failed to see this adorable side of yours. I always have thought of you as someone who's dashingly handsome but never as someone who could be this cutie!.' 

'Please, Jeonghan.' Seungcheol throws him a modest smile but Jeonghan momentarily detaches his hand from his shoulder to poke his cheek. 

'This dimple here, appears when you smile and have always made me adoring you, although I'll end up coming down from fit of feels when reality hits me that I'm not meant to cherish that.' 

Seungcheol's heart takes a dip and leans down to prop his forehead against Jeonghan's. Tonight they are in each other's hold and for this day to come they both silently suffered five long years.

Probably they are always meant to be together. Which is why they found their way, fighting against all odds, sustaining summer with hearts cracked up in the worst way possible. It wasn't easy to find his happiness and he's sure Jeonghan felt the same way as well.

All the courtship, meaningless dates and the one question to be answered with one syllable, will only entail them to a point they already are. 

He smiles at the thought of it. 

Warmth spreads in his chest when he feels the soft touch of lips against his cheeks. They probably are not even dancing at the point and are creating nuisance by publicly emoting but Seungcheol couldn't care less about what these brainless folks have to tell them. 

He wants all of them to see how someone's there for Yoon Jeonghan. He wants all of them to know how he's going to be loved for all the time he suffered, yearning for it. 

'Thank you, Cheol.' 

Seungcheol ducks his head down to meet the other's eyes. 'Why thank me?'

'All these years, I forgot what happiness was. I have two friends whom I rely on much but when I reach home to be welcomed by no one.... I always felt the brunt of being shrugged off by my family members even though it was for my own well being. I wrote and wrote, hoping it will some how make a difference in my life and I almost gave up, consumed by my own darkness. Trust me when I say, coming here was the best decision of my life.' 

Seungcheol smiled, cupping Jeonghan's cheeks delicately to press a kiss against his lips, one many times. 

'You suffered because of me, Jeonghan. Had I shown a little care for you while being considerate of other's feeling, we would have found our happy ending long back. When I couldn't come out of my problems your words reached me without intending to. I wish I had given you some comfort like what you gave me....' He tugged the other much closely. '...I badly chased you and I still want to chase you until you feel like halting your steps to join hands with me. Let's run to the world's end together.' 

Jeonghan wordlessly closed the distance and hugged him. Seungcheol swore it as the best feeling in the world,like finally the world coming down to show him some mercy by granting his biggest wish. The man feels like the epitome of warmth and grace in his hold and he bets nothing will come close to this level of intimacy.

The music has long stopped and people are probably paying attention to them for creating a scene. But, enough of the times he felt the urge to please others. 

This moment is for him and Jeonghan and no one's going to get into their way of finding happiness. 

* * *

Jeonghan's driving back home with a big smile etched on his face as he recounts the turn of events after reaching the town. By all means, he thought he'd return home with a broken heart but now that his bag of blood in the center of his chest is filled with promises from a certain someone, he's returning back as a happy man.

Right in time, Mingyu calls him and Jeonghan clicks away the green button with much enthusiasm, hoping to retell the story.

_'Hannie hyung, I found the details around and you are in for a very big surprise.' _Mingyu blabbers without even attending the basic formality of saying "Hello"

'Okay.' Jeonghan could kind of tell where this is going. 

_'That Choi Seungcheol is a dashing man, kind of figured out why you fell for him. He's a leading public prosecutor and people speak highly of him and the news is, HE'S NOT MARRIED! Although girls line up behind him, he's single as the moon in the sky! And recently I found out that he snooped into my company's info to get your address. I'm not even mad about it because hyung, I think you might have a chance with him!' _

A guileless giggle follows and Jeonghan smiles, his angelic side wide awake, suggesting that he shouldn't break the news to his Boss and for once let him take some credit. 

'That's a wonderful news, Mingyu. I'm very proud of you.' 

Mingyu seems to have caught on to the empty words. _'You don't sound like you are shocked about it.' _

Jeonghan's facade falters and he holds back the laugh with much effort. 'What do you mean I'm not shocked?! I can't even breathe. I'm going to go profess my love so I will have to end the call now.'

_'Oh! Oh! All the best hyung!' _

Ending the call, Jeonghan releases out the suppressed chortle and ends up giggling for good five minutes. The sky turns gloomy with dark clouds hovering the ground but Jeonghan finds it as endearing as the bright blue sky. When your heart is happy, anywhere is paradise.

The drive is smooth and easy and he regrets not even a second of his stay there. However, he wishes his parents to come around no matter how much of bull heads they can be. They simply are not the best people in the world and for what all they said, Jeonghan could have them away from his life, given the expanding distance between their residences.

Owing to his forgiving nature or probably his contended self at the moment- he couldn't bring himself to _hate _his life givers. 

Maybe one day, he hopes he can help them feel that choosing a job of writing and having feelings for a man isn't as bad as they think.

Just as what he was told, Seungcheol had parked his car by the gas station with Seungkwan perched atop the hood of the car. The elder is attentively listening to the what the young kid is going on about and Jeonghan entertains the thought of waiting there and observe the adorable sight. He of course, passes it in the favor of joining the scene. 

Seungcheol sees him from afar and throws a brilliant smile with ruffled locks of hair, exuding charm that ridiculously lowers Jeonghan's strength to carry his own weight to the two people over there. To have a man made only for him and a god given gift in the name of Seungkwan- everything's looking so unbelievable and perfect.

Jeonghan grins back and waves at them. Seungkwan appears to be elated at the sight of his and lifts his hands up so that Jeonghan can carry him. 

'Seungkwan-ah, you are too old to be carried like that.' Seungcheol gently tries to discipline the boy, yet the tone nowhere reaches the intensity it should have. Jeonghan rolls his eyes at that.

The younger seems to not mind the remark, too submerged in the affection shown by Jeonghan. 

'He's just five years old, Seungcheol. It's now or never for us to carry him like this.' 

'Why do we sound like an old married couple?' The elder asks in a hushed voice and Jeonghan reaches out to lean his head on Seungcheol's shoulders. Cold wind wrecks them to a shivering mess and Seungcheol immediately encompasses Jeonghan into a side hug.

Seungcheol looks down and simply smiles and it throws Jeonghan to a different dimension again, after a long time.

_ **With his sky clouded in an insufferable amount, a gentle wind blew them away helping the cascading light of sun. The big ball of fire uncharacteristically was forgiving in terms of giving optimum heat and it stayed that way, dawn, day and dusk. ** _

_ **"Things can't be more perfect than this." He thought.** _

'We might as well be.' Jeonghan simply whispered and Seungcheol's beaming gummy grin gave away how happy he feels at the moment. 

Everyone, has unique way of finding happiness. 

And happiness is not just quenching the itching feel of desire. 

It is to smile and be smiled at by someone you love and adore. 

Jeonghan and Seungcheol, along with Seungkwan, found their happiness.

Guess, happy ending exists after all!

~FIN~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading.   
I know it's not really an interesting concept to read about, but I needed a change and I wanted to present an untypical kind of plot line (but then some how I came around writing mother of all cliches)   
You might have felt boring, slow drag and cringed at certain parts, for which I apologize. 
> 
> I've been seeing some readers leaving encouraging comments and I FEEL VERY VERY THANKFUL!!!!!   
I might have not posted the rest of the chapters if not for their kind words!!!  
I basically wanted to convey that being perfect does not depend on what others cut out for you and that happiness is subjective. 
> 
> Do leave constructive criticism and feel free to score the story, because I want to improve!  
Will later post an intro chapter of svt mafia/action fic with all possible mainstream ships and update minwon abo verse!   
Thank you all, have a nice day!
> 
> P.S DON'T FORGET TO VOTE FOR SVT!!!  
YOU NEED TO VOTE ON MNET (MAMA 2019) AND IN AAA.   
do ask if you need help in voting!

**Author's Note:**

> Comments are welcomed!!!


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